MY LOST LOOKER OF LOVE

longed
liquid
lush-lunch
lengthened
legs
on
linens
line
the
lust
w/
lips
lick lungs taste
language
.

life is like camping before you die

SHE
SUCKED
AT
SICKLE
HONEY
SUCKLE
SAT
SASSY
ON
HER
SAGGING
SACHELS
SADDLE
BAGS
SHOT
UP
SPINE
SPRINKLES
OF
GOLDEN
SHOWERS
SLIPPED
DOWN
SIDEWALKS
SHE
SLID
WALKED
SLIPPING
SLIPPERY
WET
STOCKINGS
AND
ALL...

old songs

they
______tell

me
.............of

now
::::::and

then


when
:::::::life
was
-------easier
to
dream
in



and
greener
grass
was
in
::sleep**********

slowly
we
age


hair on back
shaving ear lobes


and

trying to
save

hard bucks earned


but
°°°°°°°°°nothing
seeks
______out
the recluse

__________he
__________is
__________un
__________able
__________to
__________leave
__________his
__________dwelling.

The
end
of


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::old
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::songs...


old
like
yesterday



songs...like

hummingbirds

or

songs
like
numb
driving
radio hits
................______(trips)

and
the
Television
suffers
:::::::::::w/o
___________depth


camera flashes.


They
_____talk of
_____britney's
children

and running
____red lights.

drug test
of
the


WHO'S WHO


but they to
are old songs

_______________old
_______________like
_______________yester
_______________day


songs
like
___woodpeckers

or
songs
like
plastic surgery
gone
wrong.

we're

old
songs,
awaiting
new
formats

_________D
_________Y
_________I
________N
_________G
I
N

D
I
G
I
T
I
A
L

____WON'T

Be
as
::::::::fun

bye
analog
::::::::::WORLD

good
bye


my

old

song

buildings are nothiing but bricks

jeans
___torn
_______showers
vacant


the

fragrant


s
m
e
l
l

emulates

from

faberic

3
old

days

SOMEONE
********HAS******
AN ED OPUS COMPLEX
HE
THOUGHT
I WAS

A
MESSENGER...

CONFUSED
HE
AWAITS
THE
REFUTING




...BUMBLING
FOOL...



i
SUPPORT
(YOU)

AGE

AGE
___IS HAPPENING ALL AROUND ME

:::::::::::WATCHING
::::BIRDS PERCH IN BETWEEN
************************DIAMOND CHAIN
________________________________LINKED
________________________________FENCES
}}}}}FRIENDS HAVE WEDDINGS,
$$$$$]]]]]]]]]]]] CHILDREN,
)))))))))))))))))))))))))BUYING
"""""""""""""""""""""""""____---HOMES
WITH FULL BASKET BALL COURTS IN THEIR
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^BACKYARDS
SLEEPING ON AN AIR MATTRESS
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@WRITING WORDS IN
A STUDIO APARTMENT
######### THAT BELONGS TO TELLY, WE'VE BEEN MAKING SONGS
&&&&&& TALKING
ABOUT ALL THE CRAZY MUSIC
++++++++++++++++++++++++++THAT'S
_________________________________BEEN
SHAPING THIS NEW CITY GYPSIES
______________________________GENERATION
THE RECLUSIVE YOUNG-SAINTS
COMPOSER W/ HONEST PROSE
PAINTING PICTURES OF OAKLAND
OR
THE
MILES
DAVIS
OF
OUR
MADLIB GENERATION
JAMES JOYCE
MAD GENIUS OF
MF DOOM

THE WILD NEW BLUE NOTE-STONES THROW


AS I SIT AND
_______WATCH
___________aGE
____TAKE MY MIND-GUT
FRIENDS
HAVING CAREERS FORM

(FAMILY)

)))BROTHERS((( STARTING FAMILIES
______WORKING
______HONEST.


i STILL CALL
HOME
FOR MONEY
TO PAY
-____--__-_-___--__-___--MY BILLS
AND
____EAT
AS

I TRAVEL
___TO
NEW CITIES; HOMELESS
POPPING PILLS
TRYING TO LAND
A
GOOD JOB AND START A DECENT LIFE
_____MY LALILOVE FLIES FROM
GERMANY ON OCT 30TH 2007
TO STAY WITH ME FOR 3 MONTHS
W/ A POSSIBILITY OF US GETTING MARRIED DOWN @ THE
______________________________________________COURT
______________________________________________HOUSE
IF
POSSIBLE
DEPENDING
ON, IF SHE CAN GO AND VISIT GERMANY WITH IN TWO YEARS
AND IF SHE LIKES DENVER, BUT I'M NOT SURE I LIKE DENVER
I'LL
TRY
TO
ENROLL
IN
SCHOOL
BACK
IN
THE
BAY
AREA
IN
MARCH.
AGE IS HAPPENING ALL
AROUND ME.

I
STILL WANT
TO LIVE
ON SCHOOL
LOANS
SO I CAN
WRITE
W/O HAVING
A
__JOB
___SO
I CAN
GAIN
KNOWLEDGE
AND

PAY MY BILLS...WITH LITTLE TO NO
_____RESPONSIBLY________________
MY FATHER GOT
_____________HIS
____FIRST
_____REAL
JOB
IN HIS MID 30S
ALSO MET
MY
MOTHER
AND
SHE
WAS
PREGNANT WITHIN
2 MONTHS WHILE BOTH OF
______________________THEM
ATTENDED A THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY..
_______HALO'S
AND SAINTS
BORN OUT OF LUST
________________THEIR SANCTIFICATION
WAS TAINTED
LIKE
ALL
OF
OURS.

AGE IS HAPPENING
_______________ALL
AROUND US...
MY FATHER'S HEARING AID IS GETTING
OLD.

MY
___MOTHER'S GUT IS FAILING
A
N
D

I LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND
SEE
A
FACE OF BOTH

LOSING MY HEARING
_________________AND DEALING
WITH MY
ULCERS......................I TOO
FALLEN PREY
TO
FALLEN
PREY
TO
FALLEN
***GR
***AC
***E

LOSS
OF
SAINTHOOD

OH
LORD
WHERE
IS
MY
DREAM...?
HAS
IT
TOO
FALLEN
PRAY

_____________TO

AGE???

GROWN UP COSMO GIRL

""""""""""""""""THE ASS
""""""""""""""""AND TITS
""""""""""""""""WILL SAG
""""""""""""""""AND BUTTS
""""""""""""""""WILL GET
""""""""""""""""OLD. TRY
""""""""""""""""TOO HOLD
""""""""""""""""ON GIRL
""""""""""""""""BUT ITS
""""""""""""""""TOO LATE.
""""""""""""""""SHE SHOWERED
""""""""""""""""SHAME, WORN
""""""""""""""""GUILT AND
""""""""""""""""THEN TICKETED
""""""""""""""""HER WAY
""""""""""""""""BACK INTO
""""""""""""""""ARMS...



GROWN UP
___________COSMO
____GIRL

earthquake mirror

___the
________Lilly
__wilted;
_________the
_____roes
______________fell
_a
___p
_______a
____r
____________t
___the
_______c*o*n*c*r*e*t*e
:::::::::::::::::::::::::put
::::::::::the
:::::::::::::::foot
______________down
___________________a
____jungle
______________was
______made
__________to
______jump
______________up
________&
_____________down
_______till
___________she
_____________shakes
________back
___________with
________________such
______________________vigor
______that
________we'd
_________________pee
________our
_________________-pants
__:__
__:__



that
we'd
pee
our
pants
up
&
down
till
she
shakes
back
with
such
vigor
the lilly
wilted;
the rose
fell
a
p
a
r
t
the
concrete
put
the
foot
down

a
jungle
was
made


to
jump

LA/IOWA/AZ/San Deigo/The BAY/DENVER

born and raised

here


did my schooling
here


partied
and got the inspiration here

struggled and barely stood a float
here


a

new job
here...



the train of Kerouac haunts
my window in east Oakland
rushing bye
making sure I never sleep so I can take

all this

life

in

I meet people
I try to be
filled an anxious answer
to all the suffering
but I knew that saints march in
only to be victorious in heaven
and
despised on earth


my birth name
means God supports

and he does
he is often the leg
that keeps my crutch
together

long ago
I got the sickness
and

since then I've been
poor and hidden from this world now I'm lashing out

I only wanted to

be

an artist

in this world

and to

paint and

gain the

fame

that only

comes to the shit kicking

poets


of
yester year


now the long lost

Ideal of

social movements takes the hind
seat for
some

foolish race to media

glamor butterfly shots

they forsake their
character

to chase

bills that buy packaged-processed
foods

0 trans fat!
0 trans fat!

this is on all food
so fat people think

skinny is in their grasp

in there


reach for some kind of
immortal US weekly cover


the

trick

is
to believe

that someone out there
is better than God

once you buy it

you're no longer able to see

yr forehead and heart will be marked


I'm that last call

booze on Sunday
stale Monday morning

________________grave


there was this one time where the inspiration was so
profound that I got goose bumps and the air changed scents

the world was
alive
and I knew

it



it all changes

in a

beating

of blood racing
through

hearts



here

we

are

with a
car
load of belongings


not

belonging


to

anything

:::::::::::::long ago
::::::::::::A fire
::::::::::::burned
:::::::::::::::::::::within
now
::::::::::::::one little
:::::::::::::: coal
:::::::::::::::::::flicker-glows
on
/off
with
::::::::::::::::::::such saddness
:::::::::::::::::::::that it
:::::::::::::::::::::brings
a tear
of joy to my eyes
as
the
saltwater rolls off
my cheek
bone
I
::::::::: watch

the
----coal
__________steam
________________from
____________________contact
and
---finally
---die
down...
_______________________let
_______________________the
______________________end
_______________________of
_______________________ a
______________________dream
_______________________wake you
_______________________up
______________________to
_______________________stark
_______________________empty
_______________________living
_______________________cuboards.

workwhoreweekly

work HARD

to die
in
dirt



boy
poor
hustle
to
be
immortal
is
such
a
pipe
dream##you
might
as
well
blow
up....

if
drinking
makes you
vomit
throw up in
a sink
if
dancing
makes
yr tempo go
off beat

spin-around-dizzy

.
.
.
DUMB

then hike up yr skirt

and

piss
in
the streets
someone will lackluster-lick yr urine
up
off
trampled
cement

put
it
on

a
billboard
and
sell
it
for
millions

the
world
will
win

it'll look like
God
is nowhere

then

like
the
crack of
fireworks

the beauty
will
explode

inhale
joy
.
.
.
AMEN

the equation

the artist

====he
=====has
A
unique
--_++++++job
from god
______________His
__________________+++lot

======???====is
to
-paint
-the
-human-
-soul-
-life


---on
----a
-----meduim.

equally, his
____________pain
in this world exceeds
___________the limits
of
the
average
human
___________where
discomfort
&
saddness
dwell
---------he
-----------finds
the
human
soul

alive
w/
empty
belly
beating heart

the ARTIST

thinks of only
food and mere
----------surivial


--allowing
himself
---to freely breathe
-----------------w/o
_______________________attachments

he
----knows
__________little
_______________of
________________conventions
for
_________ he
feeds off pure imagination
and creative enviroments...

the lasting thought of the dream

...and never obtaining it, is what saves the artist from ruin
he
is allowed the freedom of his
thoughts
________the ability
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°to
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° be

unhindered
by
the
outside
world
of
critical
thought

if
lendgends where
allowed
to live
untampered
by
the
praise or hatred
of
the critics


then
will
the artist
obtain
greatness
of

art...

hiss

<><><><><>TAPES
<><><><><>HAD
<><><><><>AN
<><><><><>AIR
________________ABOUT
--------------THEM...


THE
****HISS
*********WOULD
_________________CLOUD
THE

___________BOOMBOX-
-------------------GHETTO
--------------------------BLASTERS.

THE MUSE

____________________After
______________________sex
_____________________she

____________________knee-kicked
_____________________________me
_________________________in
________________________the head
.
.
.
_________________________kinda
__________________________of
_______________________romantic
________________________abuse
_______________________that
_________________________would

_________________________start
___________________________a
_________________________wave
___________________________of
__________________________words

FAME

there is a
__________two
___________2
________two

sided

mirror


one
would
want
you

to
believe
that
brad pitt
will be remembered
forever

another
side
would
let
you

know
about


Jesus,
Buddha,
Gandhi,
Kerouac,
Kempis,
Bukowski,


then you'll
graduate
and
close yr history
books


and

turn on yr television

and


let


the
b*r*a*i*n*w*a*s*h*i*n*g


continue


I pour
my
^^^^^^^glass

to

you


...we

probably
won't

meet

after
the
grave
.
..

did you


fart?


well,


...then
__WHAT'S
--SO
--FUCKIN
--FUNNY
????

haikus and hippie-sweat

the money it takes
to
rule
the
world

could be

use

to

feed
a
fetus
for
life
.
.
.
:
:
:
:
:
:

or we could just spend
it

on

clearing
all
the

wrinkles
on
rich
old
white
ladies
üüüüüüüüüüüüü

glorious clouds

the day never gloomed

with

such______________joy


then

when we
got

a
flat

tire

on

our

way

to

kill


some

tourist

in a

station*************wagon

drugged out poet

a

saint's

halo


could

never


be

put on

with

such

balance

as

when


ööööööööööööööööö


he loses

control

a day with muse

we ran into
a
#
of
snags
........
and
ate
great mounds of food

getting fat

as
poor
men

that walked with
radiant blurs

of

sunshine

humility's penis..****

______it
________goes
_______back
__________to
__________its
___________smallness


___________to
_________its
_____________belittled
_____________state.

it
goes
back
to
its
deflated
position


like
__A
Balloon


it once
was
a
sword
______A
_______seal
_______of
_______man
_______hood.

____________it
____________once
_____________was
_____________A
**************-torn
***************thorn
___________________off
_________A
__________rose
____________bush


sucked
_______out
________of
__________A
ICE
CREAM
CONE
WHERE THE MUSE

came
_Alive



_____life
_____is
_____ART


Sex
__is
__A
___dripping
____paint
____brush.



Drunk
We
Drive
the
bed
sheets
into
our
skin
AS
we go
_____wild

wide eye

________DOWN
________STUPORS
________STUPID
________SEXUAL
________POSITIONS;
________NUMB
________WE
________ORGANISM
________W/O
________WANTING
________children
________or
________long
________term
________commitment.

dead fish sushi swim

chop:::::STICKS

CHOKED ON THE


.......crazy horse


I knew this woman

was

a


hex

coming to take pictures of me
______________________________
______________________________
_______________________________
********************outside my natural habitat

jello shot

after jello shot

till


the flash

didn't seem


to mean


shining

imperfections
to the

world

but

beautiful
paintings

...

____________still

++++++++++++++++sad++++++++++++

in

natur--e


the clouds

cover
ed

the

:::::::::::::::
many

failed
attempts

and


noteworthy

catch phrases
that
seemed
to

be my

^^^^undoings^^^^
of a
man in his
great ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~old


prime whittling away

at


the
word-world


and
bouncing
up
side.e.

___________down


on the keys


where
the fingers
of

a
love


rrr

(the one
that couldn't be

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Tamed)



do
not

know
the dark

ugly
dog

that

fights

and
tears

the inside

armor

of


the

last


dying

man


good

to

the

world

in
doses
________________like fuckin


PAIN MEDICINE

remember to float by

with depth in

shallow waters

and

never

sink too deep

to
where

you'll lose

yr
::::::::::::paddle

amongst fallen
leaves


only

pick up

^^^^^^^^one^^^^^^^^^
rose


smell
it
decay


and

never put down the bottle
nor

pipe


till it completely

burns the gut down

and out
yr
ass

blood will shoot
________________
__________________OUT
and
it'll be

the final hour of rest from

this
sad
fallen
world
were
men
worship
the dead
to
feel
blood
pump




she had
penis
envy

no

one

plays

a

deeper

game of

chess

than

she

pay attention to pussy

the world has a rim


and if


yr

lucky


enough

to touch it


with swollen

fingers

by

all means

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^start touching

******************but as soon


as


you

drink from


her

nipple

remember the burn of

her
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::________
::::::::::::_________________
laugh

etch it

into

your

skin


tattoo

the words

on yr

back


and

always look over yr shoulders




dandruff

to my love, we all vanish

TO THINKÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ

_____________wedding rings

prove loyalty

__________when she

see's the tissues

left on the end table

she'll want a reason

for

all

the I

DOs


but she'll find them
fleeting when she comes home

to find you
wrapped up in front of a computer

screen glow

===================
===================
===================
===================
:::::::::::::intranced by letters


engolfed by the lonely

conversing

with the desperate



then she'll

wonder about


the loyal


dog


she



brought



home




and fed



and

bathe




and


changed



into


a


man


suited


in a


rag


and



consumed by


$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$




then


she'll storm into


the kitchen


and



cry




§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


at
th...AT

moment

the potential

for

a sweet sayin
g

.
.
.

.................to leave the lips



would #


echo

so


deep


her

knees


would buckle


and


elbows


would

weep

her

hands



into


her


tears


goodbye





we

made


great

lovers

out


of

lousy
lazy

friends


goodbye



°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
halosarehardtocomeby
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
butfoolsoftenwear
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
follylikefallenangel
feathers
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
foolishtofinishoff
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
stiffdrinkafterstiffdrink
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
when all we

had

was
jackandcoke
and crackersincabnets
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

5th cd

4th tape/cd

third tape

my second tape

my 1st tape

swore knees in

REDEMPTION



this tyme we're at the beach

watch wind surfers

losing control

of kites

hell is in the knees

woke up

__________holdin'

my gut

******************then we went to the flee

market on Ashby

in Berkeley

we found many people

playing with stolen goods

looking to buy the world



>>>>>>>..............>>>>>>>>>>>>>.......
:::::::pock et books ___________never a worn


word

one more hour of hell and we'll get to see heaven

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


THE IN BETWEEN TIME

IS WHERE YOU GATHER THOUGHTS
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((



^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ONLY PRINT YR IDEAS

ON FLASH CARDS


********************








$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$






















######################


IT'S ALL ABOUT THE


IN BETWEEN TIME




WHERE


YOU
G
E
T

TO
GATHER____________YR THOUGHTS

brent is dying of a broken heart

HERMITS
_______SIT
::::::::AND
********READ
(((())((()()()()()()BOOKS
ABOUT
:;.....>.*****00PEOPLE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~WHO
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^DIDN'T

++++++++++++++++SIT
AND
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@READ

BOOKS

(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)CROSS



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>HEARTS

AND

PRAY

TO

DIE

IN

MID-LUCID
::::::::
::::::::
:::::::::::::::DREAM

lonely moon...

when we shine
_____________
shame...our faces
_________________
reflect our nature
__________________
and when we dim
_______________
our lights, the nude
____________________
truth of our erect
__________________
imperfections glow
__________________
like embers of
______________
smoldering smut.
________________

a long drop to the moon

THE LONGEST MOMENT
::::::::::::::BEFORE FAILURE


IS GROWING
UP...

TO FIND

YOU'RE
A

::::::::NOTHING

VOODOO DULL

W/

NEEDLE
NOSE

PLIERS
PRIED
MY
PENIS-MIND
OPEN
W/ ONE



POKE

bravery

Big________________________________you
egos_______________________________can't
lay_________________________________be
eggs__________________________inspired
like__________________________by
eagles______________________reading
land________on______________yrself.
engulfed
lakes_____________that
irrigated___________along
time_______ago
we_________died
like________symbols
of____________bravery
::::::::::::::.
::::::::::::::.
::::::::::::::.
__________________________________you
___________________________________can't
___________________________________be
___________________________________inspired
___________________________________by
___________________________________just reading
___________________________________yourself...

the sideshow of things

flea market on sunday
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


replacing church
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§w/ trinkets
and
1.00$

admission

we soak up
_________________________the last bit of heaven
as worn°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° out faces
sell



garages of junk
to my
girlfriend

looking up I shape a cloud
with indexing finger swirls


and realize
I'm poor

and unknown

and I'll die

like that

what a world-flea market

I sift through
creates of records
and find hidden gems here and


there
...the novelity
will wear
off

nude music will
play in
the gallows

once again

and the clowns
won't parade
on the

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((television)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

anymore

saddness is in the bedroom

six packs spilled
stains on the floor

___----–––+++++++++
+++++++------------
the work of women
on weekend they complain
of work and men and
the country they've been exiled
too....::::::::::::::"we've all been

exiled"

I say

they look me up and down

the bum he knows

the
s
t
r
u
g
g
l
e
it
strung his scrawny skeleton#
together


for 28
miserable


YEARS

ööööööööööööööööööööHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


now a hermit
shy of contact

for what would love do



but


break his little bones

and frail
his

face

Hail storm

sky can shit too

golf balls

not like I've ever had a
golf ball fly out of
nowhere

and remind me
t
O
********************************
get

to knees

and say :::::::::::::::::::::::A
lil'

::::::::::::::::::::::::diddy

my struggle-drug-poem

never going to give up

as a writer


never going to give up as
a
musician
numb
cold
seat hope
___________________::::::::::::::::::::
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!a firecracker!!!!!!!!!!!
öööööööööööööööööööööööööö

wakes

me up

oh my clicking on a mirror

the long–––-est
minute
a clock
can stand
still for
is...

the shortest...second
death gives


if you want to sound deep

piss in a bucket
filled
with cats

and
as they claw to reach the rim
shoot yr stream

across
the
brow of their forheads

after that
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::ShAkE
the
grandfather
clock till
bedtime

wishful%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%blue morning
escape till noontime and sleep
with a woman who cares for yr well #begin
over yr pocket
.
.
.
book

that‘s


ENLIGHTENMENT

sitting around doing everything from...

"...soon we won't need
human contact."

THE COMPUTER SCREENS

GLOW

tricked into this life
of self
reliance

on the e-mail

preachy verbs
past tense
tensions

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX...broke
`````````````````````````perplexed
____________________________shamed
*********************humiliated

hyper-case-sensitive

tear-drops
typing paper
manuscripts

Fame

is

not

around everyone's corner
opportunity
no longer knocks

sad clowns
minimum
wage
uniforms
and
pretentious
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::smiles
long live
:::::::::::::
:::::::::::::
:::::::::::::
:::::::::::::
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;..................................................
the corporate sellout---who got his chips
saved in the bank

no............................................................ dime
no________________________________ dollar

fat belly dancer out of work

when I was a child my mother hit me with a dog chain
_______________
I was out of line----------------
-------------
when I was a young---------________ boy

a neighborhood ::::::::::::::::::::::::kid
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:;::::::::::_______---––––
-
--
-
-
--
-----------
showed me
33333333§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
pictures of nude women
^°°°°°°^°°°°°^°°°°^^^^^°°°
taking showers**************

we walked in on his parents having sex
>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<>>>>>>>><<<<<<<
i was no older than 5 or
6
.
.
.
taught pain
and sex:::::::::::::::as agony and defeat
ääääääääääääääääääääääöööööööööö
I'm now a man
waiting for
pain and depraved recessed
sexual?????ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß tensions

to write me a
$$$$$$$$$$$
masterpiece.


maybe if :::::::::::::::...I
hurt my longings
till the°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° dawn
i would be able

to breathe
with ease

and
grace


like the smiling children
of
∆∆∆∆∆ººººº@@@@@@@@ hollywood

grey skies wet blanket

married 10000000000000000000000000000000
the destruction
of wild beast-----domesticated
clean shaven men
refuse to #drip saliva on the
backs of women #######they
no nothing

???ßßßßofßßß????ßßßßß...............desire
hidden in bushels of bamboo
sticks smoking good ganja and drinking rum
the down trotten
and poor
know plight
everyone else just comments on structure

they know nothing of
...soberity stupors
and binge dehydration

lll=========
l§§§§§
lÄÄÄÄÄ
löööööö
llllllllllllll

better get home before the clouds fall like

Rain




it's raining outside

she's upstairs
I'm starving


FAME is to seek riches

GREATNESS is to seek
hardships, pain, failure-fire and
become refined
in
to


a big ball of fury


she's upstairs
down here


fame or greatness

matters not
its about .................food.............and

sustaining the intake of breath...........

inhale

double whoppers
w/ chesse

gulp sodas

a brup.......fastfoodofdeathclutch

&&&&&&&&&&&&it matters not&&&&&&&&&&&&&it is invain((((((((to)))))))))))))))))
want anything

less

than greatness



the reign
will
eventually

stop

and the cats
and
dogs

that suffered so

will be$$$$$$$$$$$$able

to cripple stray back under a freeway overpass

and lay under the dark cloak
of shelter

old bum new shoes are far

nickel-pocket--------wine-belly
rained in mornings-windshield-wipe
skined dead dogs hang on fence
next to tarp

)))))))))))moonlight is glowing again

)))))))))))daydreamers under tree

hangs hands over head

d
espair
dangles

damn

poet

felloff
high horse

penis shriveled

she laughed at me

and I took it


my pride

is lost...

ART is FAST FOOD

____________________________LONGER
______________________________LOVE
___________________________LINGERS
______________________________LUST
_____________________________LICKS
______________________________LEGS
______________________________LIKE
_____________________________LIMES
_________________________________&
____________________________LEMONS
____________________________BITTER
_______________________________BUT
____________________________BUTTER
____________________________BEHIND
__________________________BISCUITS
_____________________________MAKES
____________________________MESSES
___________________________MASSIVE
_____________________________MONEY
___________________________MUNDANE



...IT WAS A MONDAY

writersworkshop

HE THINKS

HE'S... "HOT SHIT"



"H
E

IS



__________________HOT SHIT"
.
.
.
Writers
workshop...

dustybeattapes and microphones

running through all my collected memories;I keep finding these beat tapes
my old homie Aoneder use to make for me
and it brings this smile to my face when I get to thinking of
the beat tapes my homies get from me


I'm still making these tapes

its like a child
when I discovered my dad's old stereo and
used my headphones for a microphone

I'd do these little skits
of radio shows

and I thought to myself

where are you going with this????


years later
(progression)

I'm still making these little tapes
of

beats and raps
and sending them to people

who like that kinda of stuff


its the most fulfilling thing in the

world


static................


(((radio shows....with yr host)))

I'm here

now with deep old scratched

voice.....................

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%CRACKED, HUMBLED, DEFEATED.....i MADE BEAT tapes
FOR THE deead...SOUlS of TTruckers....Highway music....""

A Masquerade Walls: The Wires Are Crossed

A Masquerade Walls: The Wires Are Crossed
CA does an amazing job of
painting this poem
on
the back

of

mind..........read it
)))))))))))))))read it
or............read anyone of his pieces

dead souls send out for coffee and cake

they sat talking of

good teas

dainty hats w/ flowers

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^
^^^^^
^^^^^^^^
6^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxLAST GRIN WAS OVER PASSOVER
WHEN JERRY DIED
"oh yes, so ,,,,so sad-d-d-g,gooo,d boy
Rachel's son?....""""


"no the blond girl,,mun,,,,oh, thank you....what a gentlemen charmer...Mandy


"oh that's right Mandy, he was a baby face
sweet child.....:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::""

life isn't the world

telling stories and eating mushroom
cakes by starlight


wish me the run around

jogging miles
to
find
one
old cafe to waltz
right into
these

two

old

women

talking

of

time



I WAS RUNNING
LATE

threw rocks at
windows walking home from church and
said prayers to the sky
hoping

that people would be

healed

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&(still a dreamer)

if we took money away
we'd still have a borrow system

where paper money would be junk and the only

king of the hill

would be the men who'd plan the rest of

life:::::::::::::::::::::::::TO BE
DREAMS...SWEET

VISIONS
of
the keyboard word finger tips
eyes giving out
tri-focal
glasses on rim of nose
and squinting
to the blog of
women with hand
bags to trade
for shoes

worn by dead parents
and this world

loves the sale

loves the item

when one sits sending
letters to
mother for cash
they dream of freedom from dollar bills
and find one moment of solace######################## in
a thousand w*o*r*d*s


read between the lines and fine print

we starve for
Items
and the belly aches for the
let down

lets all

sit


do
wn

and

talk this one through....

wonder......................if the owner's got


a dog......GLOVES FEELING TIGHT

sweaty::::::::::::::::::::: wonder
************************if its a pitbull
ANY K-9 COULD KILL

ME
###########################i just gotta

hop this fence

and pray there isn't a ankle biter to fasten his
teeth into my balls


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
owwwwwwwooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww>>>>>>>>>>>

"CHOMP!!!!"

a note to my old friends

we use to

carry backpacks with notepads and pens and markers and black books
we were young and we didn't understand the talent we possessed but as I
look back and reflect...I really think the time is now, we're older,
our backs have carried burdens
we've had our fights
and failures to count...now my brothers
I call you to once again work to achieve that which you've
blessed me with yr nights late in the studio smoking and drinking and
writing

long drawn out poems

that give grins
on nights like this

shit we're really good at rapping

I mean really FUCKIN good

we stuttered on session tape we've giggled to farts
we're the last of stinking poem bums............:::::::::::::::::
""""""""""""""""""""::::::::::::::::::LLLLLLLLLLLLLLL... dead beats

fear the pen fear the writer that doesn't fear
to :::::::::::::::::::::put his chips on selling out

never folds

and is

always empty handed


for this man will raise to power

and destroy **********************the art
that has destroyed %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%the flame

market is flooded with fairies
writing uplifting GOD poems
and angels
with saintly halos

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^IIIIIIMMMMMM
NN.NOT.OOO...T.T.T.T.T.T.T.

SCARED TO VENTURE into
the unknown ((paper)) w/o~~~~~~~~~ my trusty ##########2pen
that has held my hand for so long
that it forms my songs

with only heart and god

tapes and scattered paper lay on the floor

old:::::::::::::::::::fashioned


"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""men


of typerwriters and pipes

are dead...just dead nothing heroic or sad


now some new breed}}}}}}}}}}}}}of beast/man

has come along


and wiped his ass on anything that was

good and had depth

and the masses


################^#^**(^*^&%$^%#^%#$^$#%@#%$^&SEE

only shit

they eat and love this

shit


b/c


its fed

to them
what other choice do they have
but to believe the great writers of our day

are liars with sp3ll check

and dancers of deed dirt and poor langauage

this is the

revolution


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ART
is


alive
in back rooms and chat rooms

but the street is still crowded
with the poor

and the hotels are

used to degrade

the arms of many fallen great men

and we sit taking it in

like the seabreeze
we're forced to believe

that a many stars
it

took to get to the moon
was


worth climbing for minutes
and endles-s--s-s-s-::::::::::::::::::::::::::i'M RAMBLING

AGAIN ABOUT AGING
AND AGONY AROUND ASPHALT
AND ATMOSPHERE

CLOUDS CLEAR CONFUSION
......(oh those last lines are a hint of bad writing)))))))))))))))))))))))
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$say one message in three

w
o
r
d
s


CASH COWS COWOR

girl got headphones on her shoulder

the simple fact________________life is
captured by the eye so quickly that we can see a glimpse into the
mere minimalistic habits that fuel our existence


____________we lust w/ our eyes

_______________over eat
and spoil our after dinner sex
000000000000000)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))000000000000000000
_______________we think that if we dress up
like the coolest guy on the block we'll win the girl
________________look out lion

__________________look out tiger



man has you beat

with his common brain
his simple grin


his shopping carts

his war against his brother

***************************all stripe


and**********************************and STARS

::::::::::::::::::the finger gripped
******************the rusty fence))))))))))))))))))))))))
$$$$$shaking back and forth
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^UNTIL THE OLD MAN
WITH A CANE POKED MY BACK

CHILD____________________STOP
THAT NON-cents

_________________ITS PRIVATE PROPERITY

it didn't stop me


________I was a LITTLE devil

horn slightly protruding
and my lil' tail wagging...

the looks are there, but his brain is gone

couldn't see pass his own misfortune

the clown would walk on ahead

while the

humble

sit back and let
the fools

trip

over

there

own

words
.
.
.

the letter

dear mother,


I'm broke

_____________I've been spending my money on food,
gas***********rent and bills...they stop giving me

loans

I need a couple thousand to keep alive

############I'm still a babyboydreamer#######
^^^^^^^^^^^^bunched together between^^^^^^
a bunch of past due notices and legal fees
and people calling me and huanting me for what little money I do get

they seem to want so

like them

&&&&&&&&I TOO MUST ASK FOR

&&&&&&&&MORE MONEY&&&&&


love yr son

who never quite made it as an

artist....ps I hope dad is still letting you handle the money
b/c yr heart over rules the wallet


death of poetry
death of music
death of true art

everyone's going to die

and they seem to be

so concerned

with this lost of greatness

like we had a choice


the dimly lit lights in the crows
nest seem to stay lit long enough for me to create another

letter

this


one


won't be so


pleasant

modern day mozarts' still die by candlelight and computer screens

cough::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::sneeze...itchy eyes

but the keyboard still clicks and clacks to the chatter of my mouth
that

whic?????????????????h never really gets



______________-----------------OUT.
.
.
__________________________________of the head

unitl




the paper looks too blank not to get bloodly

we fight

call her names


))))))))))))))))then sweet love


out comes a word baby+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
________________________________SAINT JOSIAH

____________________________drink a lot of wine
...it keeps the belly still___________________
believing my muse isn't cheating by
skipping ahead.....................=====:::::::
_____________you get the idea that=====I'M PL
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::AYing
tricks with the pen
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@the bar line tidders on the metronome meter....

the poem is really in the rap, baby...

floppy disc

uni-ball pens

30 notebooks filled with rap lyrics

working

___________on my opus

((((((((((((discovered, that people just don't
write like

they use to))))))))))))))))))))>>>>>>>>they ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,think::::::::::::
everything should be


be


a_____________sample
a_____________taste
A LOOK into their
medicore existence

SCHOOL BUS (re) TIRE

use to sell porn and knives on the
bus

_____________________Jr high..._______________
it was a way to get cigarettes and weed and

of course...more porn.

she feeds me

my love

feeds
me

like a
a
mammal...
chomping on salads
and
vegitable pizzas

my love

feeds

me

the minute you give up on the dream is when they kill you

I found a new muse and she has my left eyeball in her purse

I went into my regular routine

I make a lot of art


then flip out saying I can't make anything good

and that its hopeless to go on
then I make shit loads more

art



then
sleep with a couple ladies

then retreat
to my lonesome

state

and


think about all the longings
of man


and ask myself repeatedly is it worth it


to starve on the streets to be immortalized in poem?

LOOK GIRL
YOU CAN'T SHOW YR SMILE
YOU MUST REMAIN W/O EMOTION
YOU SEE MY FACE?
...THIS IS THE FACE OF
A HEARTLESS PHOTOGETIC
SAD EYED STARRY DREAMER-BOY

NOW ON THE COUNT OF THREE STOP
SMILING..

I'm on my way...to the place where
legends are immortalized...and
all I can think about is

the bass is too loud

my day...

MY DAY
started at 8:15am
when I awoke to my snooze button...then I rushed into the studio
for a 8 hr tracking session I have one more
day of this maddness
and I can't seem
to shake the

chills
toast cheers
down a cold one
for me...

fell

THIS IS
WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN WORDS
FALL DOWN
STAIRS

YOU’RE LEFT CLEANING UP
THE MESSY AFTER
TRAIL OF
LINES AND
LINE
AND
LINES

OF

THE SAME BOLD LETTERING
THAT GOT
YOU
CLIMBING
THOSE STAIRS

does panning really work?

in the kitchen last night

______________holding a__beer___m
_________________________________u
__________________________________g

"not much lefftttT...annnd I---------want another
""""""""

you
start to wonder

if I'm
even trying

to

try

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>to<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WRITE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
well...I

'
m

deaf

in

one ear and
my arm was
shot with

hope

and all
I got was this mug

so


raise it to the sky
and pass out

on the pub floor

good night

the mission of prayer

to speak to the devil you either
have to be god
or
maybe a fool
the first guy (god) could proably outwit him,
the second would rather
rule the

free world
...

========
========
++++++++if anyone ever came up to
me and asked for a handout I'd proably give it to them but then again
I'm not sure if angels are inner host in homeless
clothes

so I usually shake my head
and shame my head down
and shave ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^my
___________________heart
______________ bare.

the night that highschool ended

Barry wasn't liked in the community.he had bright orange hair and would always say things like
" good day to ya Miss-s-es tit"
weird
_______young fellow_________________never bothered anyone, except miss tit. She was a tall red headed prude that would put her reading glasses on and examine Barry's hair in the morning before he was off to high school, Barry couldn't wait to leave high school so today was very special to him it was graduation the day that symbolized his freedom from the clutches of oppression and his mother, Barry had a nose the size of a deluxe can opener


____IT
_______was
_____________FUCKIN' HUGE__________________________________
everyone knew he was a brown nose to the science teacher and the gym coach
so every morning on his way to School the neighborhood kids
Stevie and Samuel would shit on his lunch pale and tell Barry that he was still being
breast fed by miss tit.

Barry eventually went to the mental hospital in the 11Th grade for a field trip
for psychology class. lolly use to sit behind him and laugh at all his imaginary jokes he'd whisper, "why did the moon cross the sky?...to see moonlight..."
a little chuckle would appear, Barry's nose would blush as Cindy would sit parallel to his lap; on good day you could see up her skirt. Barry went to church on Sundays and soaked communion bread into his grape juice and linger around the nursery
b/c he said
"it has the scent of God and purity."
________________he had little friends w/ bible verses and the
one time he swore he saw an angel, was in a camp sleep over after a bible story about a slave turned ruler. the magic he once saw on Sunday mornings left him after his beloved nanny passed away he knew that God made some kind of bargain with someone for mortality...

the last creation becomes the creator

________________you know you're
something' else____________________
______________A real son o' bitch
________________78 goin' on 89_____________-
you tough
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~son o bitch
you're making up for poorly written poems
by putting in all these weird [][][][][][][][]
______________________________LETTERS))))AND LINES THAT MAKE KNOW SENSE


SO IF THE MAGIC


OF MAN is in

what he built
_____________________________________________ then the warfare of
creation
is looking for the
destruction of
error
in its last moments of
paving roads,
flying in the clouds,
watching TV
ready to call it quits
and flip the channel
to comedy central
I hear a voice
speak
to me and tells me
the lesson of life is
consumer packaged and waiting for
__________________-me============
at the post office
and , to think, all I have to do is go and pick it......
.............................. up.........................

kill the freshman

nervous about the story


it was just another day


without a pencil

two exams later

and a fresh tattoo
on my right upper arm

one

young girl would come up and
slap it


"that's not real...!"

freshman
get
the wax out of yr ear
it's a fresh tattoo
of
a
powerhouse b-boy
holding a pencil and a microphone


"that's stupid"



what do you know.....................
fuckin' freshman

the last million dollar

necktie
I wore was at
a
anti-prom

party

I threw
for the rejects

and the one girl
I wanted to ask out to the prom was there

and she asked me why I didn't ask her
out?


"well I thought...you ha-d--d a date so I ...I..just..."


"you're a loser
with tattoos"

well that's the selling point

the first kid to get tattoos in high school

name tatt'd
on my belly
_____________________ in old english
preserving the
liberty
of poerty
that's been
____________hidden



by a time period
________________so warpped

that it forgot

how to
_______smile
crook----ed

..........:::::::……………,,,,,,,,,,,
hummmmmmmmmmmm.....
wow...the beer was ice cold
and I couldn't
bring a
single woman

into my bed
that night

anti-prom
anti-über love

indie rock played soft

from the radio station
89.7 KRUI

we drank
with college students
and made love
with kegs and became

DRUNKS
scholars

Grown up to live this existence

that never seemed to fit my passion of


failure
looking like
a trophy

as

Christ dangled
from a cross

did he understand
his influnce

on us?


or did the son of man
_____________________just die for Sin

-----------and see the---------
Gloryz of
heaven
++++++++ through suffering

strip me away
from the
critics
crufix
_______ pen

and write me down as a

thorn crown

blood
bath of forgiveness...

WELCOME TO THE 9TH GRADE

i _________________remember this young girl
___________________________________________ in high school,
––––+++++++++++she use to pass me letters.
not §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§love letters

dirty letters
asking
about the
size
of
my +++++++++++penis^^^^^^^^^^^°°°°°°°°



I remember
looking at her

and she'd
take her hands

and start measuring the length
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°in the air––––––––––––––
making all
kinds of educated guesses

but none

could come close

it was always smaller then she wanted

but
no.

bigger...no, BIGGER

till


the teacher would take notice


and


ask her and I


what we where doing

I told her simply

trying to figure the diameter


of the room verus
the size of our universe


the teacher would reply

"well, knock it off...you're disrupting class"


"OK"
I
nodded

then

another note would end up on my desk

this time it
was

asking about
the first time I had sex

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't get laid
–––––––––––––––till I was 19

and it was+++++++++++ horrible

I just layed there

like a slug ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ

waiting to leave my trail

back to 9th grade
ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ
english class

we had
hamlet to preform
so the girl


just dressed me up

in a dress
and
I did

my monoluge
;
in fear of the

wrestlers

that waited outside

the door
ready to kick my ass

my teacher had to let me go early

so I could escape God's

wrath.

to my love that thinks she should die...

when you get depressed

fart


you
usually


just need to let
off some


hot gases...

but if you're really
and

truly

sad



then


just pull the plug

and eveyone you

know

will


come out of the wood work



________________ singing


what_________-A-___glorious


day


the

lord has made


they'll

serve punch and cookies
at your

wake


b/c


____it'll truly



be a

celebration



of


life _________when


you're

finally
burried



deep enough




to keep



scilent...

what!!!!!
i

WASN'T DRUNK MY HAIR WAS LONG
AND i'M
ABOUT TO SNEEZE

POEM
tissue
all

long the

side

of her
///// \\\\\
//////////dress\\\\\\\\\\\

the under belly of life

spit out my last words
I really think this is it
one more
shot of courage
one more shot at the lights

oh poppa
one
+++++++++more
SHOT GLASS
toast

one more glup
down the hatch

and I'll see if God
has
a

barstool for

me

the wind blows south as the rain pelts the wipers

we left to get something
to eat at this Ethiopian
restaurant
on telegraph
and I couldn't
figure out if
))))))))))))the women(((((((((((((9
I was with, if they like the place b/c
they couldn't

________speak
_____good______English____0000or
if it was the food
the samboussa was
good deep fried
w/ lentils in the middle
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&I delved
IN

it was a piece of magic

*************but earlier
I ate a double cheeseburger a side of
onion rings and two sprites
then when we returned from lunch
I snacked on M&Ms, then spicy bean dip
with organic chips

______________Carlo's rosi
one name
for 4.09$
a jug

I'm well on my way to a rughhhh...,,,,awakening*&^%%%$^^^^^
a spit in the toilet sort of moment
when clarity is flushed
and the sun beams through the kitchen window as sobriety
tries its damn est to


clear


you


up...

remain like a child

car shakes, the motion makes me
sick I wish to go back
to Oakland where people piss
in the middle of streets, where crack-
whores pull their pants
down
_____at 2 pm & point to
fur covered pussy where purity
has been plummeted by A 20 dollar fix. needles
in wrist smoke billows under the overpass.
liberals & Jews, Christians & Muslims,
youth & elderly
depleted ozone all
wake, eat, sin, breathe,
shit, fight, fuck
on
this
great
big
blue
ball

madness is in the stars, spaced out
never colliding.
shooting sometimes
moon covered-sun covered
galaxies black holes
the
war
is
space

the time
________is
___________unlimited
_______________________any man
_______________________can
________________create
______________________religion
or
say
he should
be
followed.

Brew

gut
burns
shit
stained
soul
red
_nose

wine
_port
glass

opened the door to failure, she my old friend

Glass of water half full
a sharpie
ash
corner of bread crust from
a tuna salad

sun glasses
never leave the
house

it's better to hear
then see

Lotion
shame looks
real good

God speaks to me through my record player

I feel it

it shines




can I see?


can't you see?


_______________shine love

()()()()
= = = =the lights candle never went down
but))>><<((we still made shame under a blanket


love
him
and
everyone

with equal love
and God nor he will
have anything to say too you

LOVE


God is a consuming

fire


spit ball
in a hollowed out Bic pen
wadded straw-wrappers
sucked on

to moist

inhale

put
mouth
next_______to blowgun


....SUNDAY SCHOOL....

they look like perfect shapes

dressed in sweatpants
her shopping_________cart
filled w/
+++++++++diapers
+++++++++canned baby food


middle aged woman
flirts passive
small smirk
by the meat alse

she brushed
by w/
a scent of cupons
and
expensive
bathing soaps


all
the
gay
men
go
shopping at 10:34am

___they're kept up
better than the striaghts

retaining dapper-dandies


the

old
((((asian)
retired seniors
smile
in b/w
catching


up


"hey, aha,...
____________-hello, how you've been>...good,good...umm I see, (chuckle
OK by..yeh, oh bye."

to
say

drained
life
working
to
food-career
pointless-job

we
play
catch up
in the supermarket
we
can
finally
see
each
____________other

face
to
face

and
meet
our
friends
and
relax

NOT
________SO.

Not So
not so
my


friend.

we
still

must____________________
_____________spend______


the
dollar


on
frozen
trays


w/ pill-like-form

health
swallowed



to


keep us


ticking


the shopping
_____________carts

carry
__only
______minimums

of food


the
______beast-machine

this
___)))Anti-Christ
_______called


slavery
has


drained

the
life-spirit-force


right out of us/

...if I ruled the world

if I took over
A computer company
and
FedEx


I could
___destroy
the


WORLD.

if my
computer
worked

I
could
level the keyboard


with on e
%%%%%%%%%blow

!!!!!!!OF THE FINGER TIP-thought

the tip of a
))<<>>((nail
bite
frankly in
frenzy

to
explore
the

lymph nodes
and cough drops


over
the
mucus
covered

tissue

next


to the mug
of warm

Brandy.


pigment-pale


Loss
of
blood-gut
_____________groans


the
muscle it takes
to
dream
thinks
all day
________of________
____---------the


INSANITY
it
caused

when

we


lost the grip

control
remote

on the
future

my

inclination

is to
die
a

lone

not

controlled
or

owned
by anything



in
this
world


I
AM

truly

a
Free
MAN

the waiting Game

In single file
________lines
to purchase
))))))))))Sandwiches, tires,
the
___mean
________mechanic
rotates
eyes and
whips a red rage
over
__________====+his
__right
shoulder pissed
off...


my
car
is finished

defeat looks better on the resume

Crumbled cotton,
_________hard
stale towel
w/ a wet moldy odor.

stepped into my interview
w/ a nervous stench
crawling
all over
the lobby
see
the cockroaches
scatter

"we'll pay you...9.50 an hour, plus benefits."


"what benefits?"


slave wages for
lower back pains

I
haven't had
a job since

12/12/05

I ran out
of money
8 months ago

I live on
hand outs,
hand-me downs,
laying on of hands.

humankind
turns
it back
and I'm about to die
w/o a cent
to my name...

I hear
laughter
and good times

closed-tired
doors creak
starving bellies
and bloody brains

this
is
a
reflection
of
my
subtle
blue

morn for me, man morn for me
pity is like a steak and eggs breakfast
we feast on snacks are too weak to feed
our soul-gut
I get up
and feel like
applying myself for
the first time
but my
resume
lays
in
the
gutter
w/ rain droplets
distorting
the ink
into
blurred tears
(I can't move)
frozen stuck
in headlights and
bumper stickers
I'm defeat w/a resume

my rasta I-man and the holy three

the morning was made with God's blessing. the rasta woke in his bed
with one old blanket. up on the hill he cooked food he found around the
fallen leaves, I woke up in the same jungle with gas pumps overpasses and gun shots
by street lamps around 35th and international. I held a stepping razor and a tooth brush
b/w my teeth; strut my legs, swift. I had placed the right hand on the handle of the toothbrush and proceeded with a forward/back motion, it really helped the enamel, and you could tell in the right sunlight but the hustle was on the back of many men and I could feel it in the way we squited our eyes...the traffic was backed up. the car was finally fixed. The time was 5:37pm and I could smell the fast food drive-throughs pile up I was eating no meat at the time and my gut was torn b/w health and death
I rather choose death with a whopper and med. fries and a Dr. pepper, but I suffered so...haven't been to chruch since 2005 I found my heart urning for a Little God to help my bank account but I knew they'd never understand the earth by locking up their check books in offering plates I met a few old pastors and they wore a honest smile
and talked human, but many of them just wanted to discuss damnation and do's and don'ts...I rather masterbate with jesus in the room, begging for my twisted artistic vision splattered on the floor with a pure heart...

love loss and the moving sky

life is good

got some peace


___________and


______quiet

now I can
_________handle
____the
____humans


and

...you


clear skies

removed of

hint


the
chill
goes

right
to my ears
and

makes

my

___nose
running


I still truck on

my feet
are sore

my
head

hangs


over

the
railing

I
vomit


out
comes

the
green

red
chunks

of
my

lunch
pale


I'm
mentally

sick

ups

downs

the

long lost
boyhood

playing
w/
toys

women
have
cooties

and
kickball

still
rules
the schoolyard

whores and wine

drink enough
look
Appealing
if we
fuck em'
enough
we'll
have
to
drink
more


if we made
______MORE
______MONEY
we
would
win

___________pussy, passion,
___________pleasure, purple hearts




models and metals


we're
of
a
cowardly
kind
that
can't
shine
our
face
on sides
of
automobiles
and
airplanes
in parking lots
and
airports
we couldn't
buy
time
if
they
sold it
next to
the
pisser

...the whores will
always fuck
and the
wino's will
always drink
no one gave up
on that


a whore
and a wino
better to
taste
the bottom
then live
in the middle

IOWA CITY

Everyone
+++++++++either
ages,Blooms,or
///////////////gets fat.

Some
________stumble home in
Poke-a-dot skirts and red
high heels
on cellphones
looking
for
friendship
on
the
other
line.



others get
_____________old
________________and Flirt, kiss,
and mate w/ young
women
______w/
++++++++++++knowledge
of their
________own
__________ stupidity.

others
________give in.
give up.
____________give away.
dreams,
women,
good jobs...
they're quiet.

reserved.

I
__too
______sit
reserved

but
_ _only
__________B/c
+++++++++++++I like
to
watch...
this
_____life,
this mishap,
__________this play,
this act...
_____________its so
choreographed
w/ broken
Bottles, wondering eyes, backstabbing friendships
hugging sluts
bringing in the new year w/ kisses
forgotten.

shallow depth
the bartender
gives out
free drinks
my eyes dried
out

b/c
of the
smoke.

I wished
to
return
to Oakland
Oceanside
of
my
mysitc hermit
----Loft
---So I
Could lock the door
and get
peace
---& quiet
but
- even
there
I have a Mess
to
deal with
no
=peace
no
====darkness
nothing
walking-waking
_______________blaring
Fools

that deprive me
of
sleep


my
lot

modern spiritual hymn

the battery pack
was jammed...
energy sapped
all we could do
is pray...a way out of this trap
if god let's us shine

to blind the pride
lion
roar

half serpent
half boar

her Majesty declared
war....

so much for

the brave whore
sucking at her wounds

at a young age I dealt with bottled up rage


turn the page
wanted to
roll over
in
the grave
read the dirt
till
one man came

none next to him

thieves AND thugs
locked in a
convex dimension

shameless plug

I can swing my slugs
only in prayer,
done out of love
..................never hate
some savior
to be
born of a babe

teens
having
kids

just
to die
to live

we cry
crucifix tears

this is the
seventh year
of the 2000
God gave

A
rams horn filled w/
of the blood of a thorn crown
kings will come to reign
and fall down
many soldiers bones will decay,
or
play
as ring tones...

sold to make
a prophet_his money

to feed
his poor pockets

blessed is the day of the
lord's tupac-olypse
when the wicked fall

mic cords w/
swollen lips
in stolen whips

drive...bye
thinking

(these streets need repaved)

sky high my winded sigh
relaxes the muscles in my eyes
focused on my heaven-hustle
seven stanzas
of em shits is bananas
held a hand cannon once
it's powerful
shields powered up
the steering wheels
forget the shining rims
pack a note pad of these spiritual
hymns

sing songs,
give
thanks.

slang
silly-bulls
or
walk the plank...

never drank w/ sharks
in Davey Jones locker
I'm...one part vodka
two parts holy mantra
whiskey-
wishing
-well
burn in water or swim in hell

a sober mans
first look
at his new born

a homeless man
points to mecca
and prays

I give my praise
in similar ways

cross and the switch blade
to the lost looking to be saved
angels and saints
repent and pray




this is slaughter
why bother

tribe of Judah
sharpshooter

walking the valley
of
death
dead-steps
at a lost of breath
beaten and bruised
weakened and used
he wipes the blood
off his breastplate
rocks stepping razor
in his player
on his way to Sunday
service
still nervous
about
past sins and
clenches
his ends...

his watch slips,
down his wrist
can't believe
just shot his kid.

God give us the serenity
to deal with the insanity
the broken down
humanity

sisters of the cloth, anoint
lepers in the goth
brother slang scriptures
whooping cough
picture a monk
a saint
at a blank page
going insane
hearts