too much blood down the drain

tapping the knee
with my index finger
___________________________________

_________tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap,... tap tap tap
____
__
_
I grunt
nothing happens

-----------I get up from my toilet
put the seat down
flush then
head upstairs

the whole
time
I'm just waiting for
jumping heart
missed breath
fumble of feet

___anything_____
___to stop_______
____my________
_______life_____

___B____
___U____
___T____

nothing happened
I can barely type
I can barely see
I can barely think

the freeway was empty
the cars went home
the fog settled
on the street light
I was on my way

but I woke up on my couch in
the morning
I missed
the gym
the health food
store
the nice talks with
young girls


I missed it
all

All I had
was this bloody
spinning headache
with poisoned
lips that shouted
chuckles at
GOD

I must be a fool
...to play such a game
as
this.