a long drop to the moon

THE LONGEST MOMENT
::::::::::::::BEFORE FAILURE


IS GROWING
UP...

TO FIND

YOU'RE
A

::::::::NOTHING

VOODOO DULL

W/

NEEDLE
NOSE

PLIERS
PRIED
MY
PENIS-MIND
OPEN
W/ ONE



POKE

bravery

Big________________________________you
egos_______________________________can't
lay_________________________________be
eggs__________________________inspired
like__________________________by
eagles______________________reading
land________on______________yrself.
engulfed
lakes_____________that
irrigated___________along
time_______ago
we_________died
like________symbols
of____________bravery
::::::::::::::.
::::::::::::::.
::::::::::::::.
__________________________________you
___________________________________can't
___________________________________be
___________________________________inspired
___________________________________by
___________________________________just reading
___________________________________yourself...

the sideshow of things

flea market on sunday
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


replacing church
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§w/ trinkets
and
1.00$

admission

we soak up
_________________________the last bit of heaven
as worn°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° out faces
sell



garages of junk
to my
girlfriend

looking up I shape a cloud
with indexing finger swirls


and realize
I'm poor

and unknown

and I'll die

like that

what a world-flea market

I sift through
creates of records
and find hidden gems here and


there
...the novelity
will wear
off

nude music will
play in
the gallows

once again

and the clowns
won't parade
on the

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((television)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

anymore

saddness is in the bedroom

six packs spilled
stains on the floor

___----–––+++++++++
+++++++------------
the work of women
on weekend they complain
of work and men and
the country they've been exiled
too....::::::::::::::"we've all been

exiled"

I say

they look me up and down

the bum he knows

the
s
t
r
u
g
g
l
e
it
strung his scrawny skeleton#
together


for 28
miserable


YEARS

ööööööööööööööööööööHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


now a hermit
shy of contact

for what would love do



but


break his little bones

and frail
his

face

Hail storm

sky can shit too

golf balls

not like I've ever had a
golf ball fly out of
nowhere

and remind me
t
O
********************************
get

to knees

and say :::::::::::::::::::::::A
lil'

::::::::::::::::::::::::diddy

my struggle-drug-poem

never going to give up

as a writer


never going to give up as
a
musician
numb
cold
seat hope
___________________::::::::::::::::::::
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!a firecracker!!!!!!!!!!!
öööööööööööööööööööööööööö

wakes

me up

oh my clicking on a mirror

the long–––-est
minute
a clock
can stand
still for
is...

the shortest...second
death gives


if you want to sound deep

piss in a bucket
filled
with cats

and
as they claw to reach the rim
shoot yr stream

across
the
brow of their forheads

after that
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::ShAkE
the
grandfather
clock till
bedtime

wishful%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%blue morning
escape till noontime and sleep
with a woman who cares for yr well #begin
over yr pocket
.
.
.
book

that‘s


ENLIGHTENMENT

sitting around doing everything from...

"...soon we won't need
human contact."

THE COMPUTER SCREENS

GLOW

tricked into this life
of self
reliance

on the e-mail

preachy verbs
past tense
tensions

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX...broke
`````````````````````````perplexed
____________________________shamed
*********************humiliated

hyper-case-sensitive

tear-drops
typing paper
manuscripts

Fame

is

not

around everyone's corner
opportunity
no longer knocks

sad clowns
minimum
wage
uniforms
and
pretentious
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::smiles
long live
:::::::::::::
:::::::::::::
:::::::::::::
:::::::::::::
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;..................................................
the corporate sellout---who got his chips
saved in the bank

no............................................................ dime
no________________________________ dollar

fat belly dancer out of work

when I was a child my mother hit me with a dog chain
_______________
I was out of line----------------
-------------
when I was a young---------________ boy

a neighborhood ::::::::::::::::::::::::kid
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:;::::::::::_______---––––
-
--
-
-
--
-----------
showed me
33333333§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
pictures of nude women
^°°°°°°^°°°°°^°°°°^^^^^°°°
taking showers**************

we walked in on his parents having sex
>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<>>>>>>>><<<<<<<
i was no older than 5 or
6
.
.
.
taught pain
and sex:::::::::::::::as agony and defeat
ääääääääääääääääääääääöööööööööö
I'm now a man
waiting for
pain and depraved recessed
sexual?????ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß tensions

to write me a
$$$$$$$$$$$
masterpiece.


maybe if :::::::::::::::...I
hurt my longings
till the°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° dawn
i would be able

to breathe
with ease

and
grace


like the smiling children
of
∆∆∆∆∆ººººº@@@@@@@@ hollywood

grey skies wet blanket

married 10000000000000000000000000000000
the destruction
of wild beast-----domesticated
clean shaven men
refuse to #drip saliva on the
backs of women #######they
no nothing

???ßßßßofßßß????ßßßßß...............desire
hidden in bushels of bamboo
sticks smoking good ganja and drinking rum
the down trotten
and poor
know plight
everyone else just comments on structure

they know nothing of
...soberity stupors
and binge dehydration

lll=========
l§§§§§
lÄÄÄÄÄ
löööööö
llllllllllllll

better get home before the clouds fall like

Rain




it's raining outside

she's upstairs
I'm starving


FAME is to seek riches

GREATNESS is to seek
hardships, pain, failure-fire and
become refined
in
to


a big ball of fury


she's upstairs
down here


fame or greatness

matters not
its about .................food.............and

sustaining the intake of breath...........

inhale

double whoppers
w/ chesse

gulp sodas

a brup.......fastfoodofdeathclutch

&&&&&&&&&&&&it matters not&&&&&&&&&&&&&it is invain((((((((to)))))))))))))))))
want anything

less

than greatness



the reign
will
eventually

stop

and the cats
and
dogs

that suffered so

will be$$$$$$$$$$$$able

to cripple stray back under a freeway overpass

and lay under the dark cloak
of shelter

old bum new shoes are far

nickel-pocket--------wine-belly
rained in mornings-windshield-wipe
skined dead dogs hang on fence
next to tarp

)))))))))))moonlight is glowing again

)))))))))))daydreamers under tree

hangs hands over head

d
espair
dangles

damn

poet

felloff
high horse

penis shriveled

she laughed at me

and I took it


my pride

is lost...

ART is FAST FOOD

____________________________LONGER
______________________________LOVE
___________________________LINGERS
______________________________LUST
_____________________________LICKS
______________________________LEGS
______________________________LIKE
_____________________________LIMES
_________________________________&
____________________________LEMONS
____________________________BITTER
_______________________________BUT
____________________________BUTTER
____________________________BEHIND
__________________________BISCUITS
_____________________________MAKES
____________________________MESSES
___________________________MASSIVE
_____________________________MONEY
___________________________MUNDANE



...IT WAS A MONDAY

writersworkshop

HE THINKS

HE'S... "HOT SHIT"



"H
E

IS



__________________HOT SHIT"
.
.
.
Writers
workshop...

dustybeattapes and microphones

running through all my collected memories;I keep finding these beat tapes
my old homie Aoneder use to make for me
and it brings this smile to my face when I get to thinking of
the beat tapes my homies get from me


I'm still making these tapes

its like a child
when I discovered my dad's old stereo and
used my headphones for a microphone

I'd do these little skits
of radio shows

and I thought to myself

where are you going with this????


years later
(progression)

I'm still making these little tapes
of

beats and raps
and sending them to people

who like that kinda of stuff


its the most fulfilling thing in the

world


static................


(((radio shows....with yr host)))

I'm here

now with deep old scratched

voice.....................

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%CRACKED, HUMBLED, DEFEATED.....i MADE BEAT tapes
FOR THE deead...SOUlS of TTruckers....Highway music....""

A Masquerade Walls: The Wires Are Crossed

A Masquerade Walls: The Wires Are Crossed
CA does an amazing job of
painting this poem
on
the back

of

mind..........read it
)))))))))))))))read it
or............read anyone of his pieces

dead souls send out for coffee and cake

they sat talking of

good teas

dainty hats w/ flowers

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^
^^^^^
^^^^^^^^
6^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxLAST GRIN WAS OVER PASSOVER
WHEN JERRY DIED
"oh yes, so ,,,,so sad-d-d-g,gooo,d boy
Rachel's son?....""""


"no the blond girl,,mun,,,,oh, thank you....what a gentlemen charmer...Mandy


"oh that's right Mandy, he was a baby face
sweet child.....:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::""

life isn't the world

telling stories and eating mushroom
cakes by starlight


wish me the run around

jogging miles
to
find
one
old cafe to waltz
right into
these

two

old

women

talking

of

time



I WAS RUNNING
LATE

threw rocks at
windows walking home from church and
said prayers to the sky
hoping

that people would be

healed

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&(still a dreamer)

if we took money away
we'd still have a borrow system

where paper money would be junk and the only

king of the hill

would be the men who'd plan the rest of

life:::::::::::::::::::::::::TO BE
DREAMS...SWEET

VISIONS
of
the keyboard word finger tips
eyes giving out
tri-focal
glasses on rim of nose
and squinting
to the blog of
women with hand
bags to trade
for shoes

worn by dead parents
and this world

loves the sale

loves the item

when one sits sending
letters to
mother for cash
they dream of freedom from dollar bills
and find one moment of solace######################## in
a thousand w*o*r*d*s


read between the lines and fine print

we starve for
Items
and the belly aches for the
let down

lets all

sit


do
wn

and

talk this one through....

wonder......................if the owner's got


a dog......GLOVES FEELING TIGHT

sweaty::::::::::::::::::::: wonder
************************if its a pitbull
ANY K-9 COULD KILL

ME
###########################i just gotta

hop this fence

and pray there isn't a ankle biter to fasten his
teeth into my balls


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
owwwwwwwooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww>>>>>>>>>>>

"CHOMP!!!!"

a note to my old friends

we use to

carry backpacks with notepads and pens and markers and black books
we were young and we didn't understand the talent we possessed but as I
look back and reflect...I really think the time is now, we're older,
our backs have carried burdens
we've had our fights
and failures to count...now my brothers
I call you to once again work to achieve that which you've
blessed me with yr nights late in the studio smoking and drinking and
writing

long drawn out poems

that give grins
on nights like this

shit we're really good at rapping

I mean really FUCKIN good

we stuttered on session tape we've giggled to farts
we're the last of stinking poem bums............:::::::::::::::::
""""""""""""""""""""::::::::::::::::::LLLLLLLLLLLLLLL... dead beats

fear the pen fear the writer that doesn't fear
to :::::::::::::::::::::put his chips on selling out

never folds

and is

always empty handed


for this man will raise to power

and destroy **********************the art
that has destroyed %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%the flame

market is flooded with fairies
writing uplifting GOD poems
and angels
with saintly halos

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^IIIIIIMMMMMM
NN.NOT.OOO...T.T.T.T.T.T.T.

SCARED TO VENTURE into
the unknown ((paper)) w/o~~~~~~~~~ my trusty ##########2pen
that has held my hand for so long
that it forms my songs

with only heart and god

tapes and scattered paper lay on the floor

old:::::::::::::::::::fashioned


"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""men


of typerwriters and pipes

are dead...just dead nothing heroic or sad


now some new breed}}}}}}}}}}}}}of beast/man

has come along


and wiped his ass on anything that was

good and had depth

and the masses


################^#^**(^*^&%$^%#^%#$^$#%@#%$^&SEE

only shit

they eat and love this

shit


b/c


its fed

to them
what other choice do they have
but to believe the great writers of our day

are liars with sp3ll check

and dancers of deed dirt and poor langauage

this is the

revolution


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ART
is


alive
in back rooms and chat rooms

but the street is still crowded
with the poor

and the hotels are

used to degrade

the arms of many fallen great men

and we sit taking it in

like the seabreeze
we're forced to believe

that a many stars
it

took to get to the moon
was


worth climbing for minutes
and endles-s--s-s-s-::::::::::::::::::::::::::i'M RAMBLING

AGAIN ABOUT AGING
AND AGONY AROUND ASPHALT
AND ATMOSPHERE

CLOUDS CLEAR CONFUSION
......(oh those last lines are a hint of bad writing)))))))))))))))))))))))
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$say one message in three

w
o
r
d
s


CASH COWS COWOR

girl got headphones on her shoulder

the simple fact________________life is
captured by the eye so quickly that we can see a glimpse into the
mere minimalistic habits that fuel our existence


____________we lust w/ our eyes

_______________over eat
and spoil our after dinner sex
000000000000000)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))000000000000000000
_______________we think that if we dress up
like the coolest guy on the block we'll win the girl
________________look out lion

__________________look out tiger



man has you beat

with his common brain
his simple grin


his shopping carts

his war against his brother

***************************all stripe


and**********************************and STARS

::::::::::::::::::the finger gripped
******************the rusty fence))))))))))))))))))))))))
$$$$$shaking back and forth
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^UNTIL THE OLD MAN
WITH A CANE POKED MY BACK

CHILD____________________STOP
THAT NON-cents

_________________ITS PRIVATE PROPERITY

it didn't stop me


________I was a LITTLE devil

horn slightly protruding
and my lil' tail wagging...

the looks are there, but his brain is gone

couldn't see pass his own misfortune

the clown would walk on ahead

while the

humble

sit back and let
the fools

trip

over

there

own

words
.
.
.

the letter

dear mother,


I'm broke

_____________I've been spending my money on food,
gas***********rent and bills...they stop giving me

loans

I need a couple thousand to keep alive

############I'm still a babyboydreamer#######
^^^^^^^^^^^^bunched together between^^^^^^
a bunch of past due notices and legal fees
and people calling me and huanting me for what little money I do get

they seem to want so

like them

&&&&&&&&I TOO MUST ASK FOR

&&&&&&&&MORE MONEY&&&&&


love yr son

who never quite made it as an

artist....ps I hope dad is still letting you handle the money
b/c yr heart over rules the wallet


death of poetry
death of music
death of true art

everyone's going to die

and they seem to be

so concerned

with this lost of greatness

like we had a choice


the dimly lit lights in the crows
nest seem to stay lit long enough for me to create another

letter

this


one


won't be so


pleasant

modern day mozarts' still die by candlelight and computer screens

cough::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::sneeze...itchy eyes

but the keyboard still clicks and clacks to the chatter of my mouth
that

whic?????????????????h never really gets



______________-----------------OUT.
.
.
__________________________________of the head

unitl




the paper looks too blank not to get bloodly

we fight

call her names


))))))))))))))))then sweet love


out comes a word baby+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
________________________________SAINT JOSIAH

____________________________drink a lot of wine
...it keeps the belly still___________________
believing my muse isn't cheating by
skipping ahead.....................=====:::::::
_____________you get the idea that=====I'M PL
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::AYing
tricks with the pen
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@the bar line tidders on the metronome meter....

the poem is really in the rap, baby...

floppy disc

uni-ball pens

30 notebooks filled with rap lyrics

working

___________on my opus

((((((((((((discovered, that people just don't
write like

they use to))))))))))))))))))))>>>>>>>>they ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,think::::::::::::
everything should be


be


a_____________sample
a_____________taste
A LOOK into their
medicore existence

SCHOOL BUS (re) TIRE

use to sell porn and knives on the
bus

_____________________Jr high..._______________
it was a way to get cigarettes and weed and

of course...more porn.

she feeds me

my love

feeds
me

like a
a
mammal...
chomping on salads
and
vegitable pizzas

my love

feeds

me

the minute you give up on the dream is when they kill you

I found a new muse and she has my left eyeball in her purse

I went into my regular routine

I make a lot of art


then flip out saying I can't make anything good

and that its hopeless to go on
then I make shit loads more

art



then
sleep with a couple ladies

then retreat
to my lonesome

state

and


think about all the longings
of man


and ask myself repeatedly is it worth it


to starve on the streets to be immortalized in poem?

LOOK GIRL
YOU CAN'T SHOW YR SMILE
YOU MUST REMAIN W/O EMOTION
YOU SEE MY FACE?
...THIS IS THE FACE OF
A HEARTLESS PHOTOGETIC
SAD EYED STARRY DREAMER-BOY

NOW ON THE COUNT OF THREE STOP
SMILING..

I'm on my way...to the place where
legends are immortalized...and
all I can think about is

the bass is too loud

my day...

MY DAY
started at 8:15am
when I awoke to my snooze button...then I rushed into the studio
for a 8 hr tracking session I have one more
day of this maddness
and I can't seem
to shake the

chills
toast cheers
down a cold one
for me...

fell

THIS IS
WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN WORDS
FALL DOWN
STAIRS

YOU’RE LEFT CLEANING UP
THE MESSY AFTER
TRAIL OF
LINES AND
LINE
AND
LINES

OF

THE SAME BOLD LETTERING
THAT GOT
YOU
CLIMBING
THOSE STAIRS

does panning really work?

in the kitchen last night

______________holding a__beer___m
_________________________________u
__________________________________g

"not much lefftttT...annnd I---------want another
""""""""

you
start to wonder

if I'm
even trying

to

try

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>to<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WRITE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
well...I

'
m

deaf

in

one ear and
my arm was
shot with

hope

and all
I got was this mug

so


raise it to the sky
and pass out

on the pub floor

good night

the mission of prayer

to speak to the devil you either
have to be god
or
maybe a fool
the first guy (god) could proably outwit him,
the second would rather
rule the

free world
...

========
========
++++++++if anyone ever came up to
me and asked for a handout I'd proably give it to them but then again
I'm not sure if angels are inner host in homeless
clothes

so I usually shake my head
and shame my head down
and shave ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^my
___________________heart
______________ bare.

the night that highschool ended

Barry wasn't liked in the community.he had bright orange hair and would always say things like
" good day to ya Miss-s-es tit"
weird
_______young fellow_________________never bothered anyone, except miss tit. She was a tall red headed prude that would put her reading glasses on and examine Barry's hair in the morning before he was off to high school, Barry couldn't wait to leave high school so today was very special to him it was graduation the day that symbolized his freedom from the clutches of oppression and his mother, Barry had a nose the size of a deluxe can opener


____IT
_______was
_____________FUCKIN' HUGE__________________________________
everyone knew he was a brown nose to the science teacher and the gym coach
so every morning on his way to School the neighborhood kids
Stevie and Samuel would shit on his lunch pale and tell Barry that he was still being
breast fed by miss tit.

Barry eventually went to the mental hospital in the 11Th grade for a field trip
for psychology class. lolly use to sit behind him and laugh at all his imaginary jokes he'd whisper, "why did the moon cross the sky?...to see moonlight..."
a little chuckle would appear, Barry's nose would blush as Cindy would sit parallel to his lap; on good day you could see up her skirt. Barry went to church on Sundays and soaked communion bread into his grape juice and linger around the nursery
b/c he said
"it has the scent of God and purity."
________________he had little friends w/ bible verses and the
one time he swore he saw an angel, was in a camp sleep over after a bible story about a slave turned ruler. the magic he once saw on Sunday mornings left him after his beloved nanny passed away he knew that God made some kind of bargain with someone for mortality...

the last creation becomes the creator

________________you know you're
something' else____________________
______________A real son o' bitch
________________78 goin' on 89_____________-
you tough
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~son o bitch
you're making up for poorly written poems
by putting in all these weird [][][][][][][][]
______________________________LETTERS))))AND LINES THAT MAKE KNOW SENSE


SO IF THE MAGIC


OF MAN is in

what he built
_____________________________________________ then the warfare of
creation
is looking for the
destruction of
error
in its last moments of
paving roads,
flying in the clouds,
watching TV
ready to call it quits
and flip the channel
to comedy central
I hear a voice
speak
to me and tells me
the lesson of life is
consumer packaged and waiting for
__________________-me============
at the post office
and , to think, all I have to do is go and pick it......
.............................. up.........................

kill the freshman

nervous about the story


it was just another day


without a pencil

two exams later

and a fresh tattoo
on my right upper arm

one

young girl would come up and
slap it


"that's not real...!"

freshman
get
the wax out of yr ear
it's a fresh tattoo
of
a
powerhouse b-boy
holding a pencil and a microphone


"that's stupid"



what do you know.....................
fuckin' freshman

the last million dollar

necktie
I wore was at
a
anti-prom

party

I threw
for the rejects

and the one girl
I wanted to ask out to the prom was there

and she asked me why I didn't ask her
out?


"well I thought...you ha-d--d a date so I ...I..just..."


"you're a loser
with tattoos"

well that's the selling point

the first kid to get tattoos in high school

name tatt'd
on my belly
_____________________ in old english
preserving the
liberty
of poerty
that's been
____________hidden



by a time period
________________so warpped

that it forgot

how to
_______smile
crook----ed

..........:::::::……………,,,,,,,,,,,
hummmmmmmmmmmm.....
wow...the beer was ice cold
and I couldn't
bring a
single woman

into my bed
that night

anti-prom
anti-über love

indie rock played soft

from the radio station
89.7 KRUI

we drank
with college students
and made love
with kegs and became

DRUNKS
scholars

Grown up to live this existence

that never seemed to fit my passion of


failure
looking like
a trophy

as

Christ dangled
from a cross

did he understand
his influnce

on us?


or did the son of man
_____________________just die for Sin

-----------and see the---------
Gloryz of
heaven
++++++++ through suffering

strip me away
from the
critics
crufix
_______ pen

and write me down as a

thorn crown

blood
bath of forgiveness...

WELCOME TO THE 9TH GRADE

i _________________remember this young girl
___________________________________________ in high school,
––––+++++++++++she use to pass me letters.
not §§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§love letters

dirty letters
asking
about the
size
of
my +++++++++++penis^^^^^^^^^^^°°°°°°°°



I remember
looking at her

and she'd
take her hands

and start measuring the length
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°in the air––––––––––––––
making all
kinds of educated guesses

but none

could come close

it was always smaller then she wanted

but
no.

bigger...no, BIGGER

till


the teacher would take notice


and


ask her and I


what we where doing

I told her simply

trying to figure the diameter


of the room verus
the size of our universe


the teacher would reply

"well, knock it off...you're disrupting class"


"OK"
I
nodded

then

another note would end up on my desk

this time it
was

asking about
the first time I had sex

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't get laid
–––––––––––––––till I was 19

and it was+++++++++++ horrible

I just layed there

like a slug ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ

waiting to leave my trail

back to 9th grade
ÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ
english class

we had
hamlet to preform
so the girl


just dressed me up

in a dress
and
I did

my monoluge
;
in fear of the

wrestlers

that waited outside

the door
ready to kick my ass

my teacher had to let me go early

so I could escape God's

wrath.

to my love that thinks she should die...

when you get depressed

fart


you
usually


just need to let
off some


hot gases...

but if you're really
and

truly

sad



then


just pull the plug

and eveyone you

know

will


come out of the wood work



________________ singing


what_________-A-___glorious


day


the

lord has made


they'll

serve punch and cookies
at your

wake


b/c


____it'll truly



be a

celebration



of


life _________when


you're

finally
burried



deep enough




to keep



scilent...

what!!!!!
i

WASN'T DRUNK MY HAIR WAS LONG
AND i'M
ABOUT TO SNEEZE

POEM
tissue
all

long the

side

of her
///// \\\\\
//////////dress\\\\\\\\\\\

the under belly of life

spit out my last words
I really think this is it
one more
shot of courage
one more shot at the lights

oh poppa
one
+++++++++more
SHOT GLASS
toast

one more glup
down the hatch

and I'll see if God
has
a

barstool for

me

the wind blows south as the rain pelts the wipers

we left to get something
to eat at this Ethiopian
restaurant
on telegraph
and I couldn't
figure out if
))))))))))))the women(((((((((((((9
I was with, if they like the place b/c
they couldn't

________speak
_____good______English____0000or
if it was the food
the samboussa was
good deep fried
w/ lentils in the middle
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&I delved
IN

it was a piece of magic

*************but earlier
I ate a double cheeseburger a side of
onion rings and two sprites
then when we returned from lunch
I snacked on M&Ms, then spicy bean dip
with organic chips

______________Carlo's rosi
one name
for 4.09$
a jug

I'm well on my way to a rughhhh...,,,,awakening*&^%%%$^^^^^
a spit in the toilet sort of moment
when clarity is flushed
and the sun beams through the kitchen window as sobriety
tries its damn est to


clear


you


up...

remain like a child

car shakes, the motion makes me
sick I wish to go back
to Oakland where people piss
in the middle of streets, where crack-
whores pull their pants
down
_____at 2 pm & point to
fur covered pussy where purity
has been plummeted by A 20 dollar fix. needles
in wrist smoke billows under the overpass.
liberals & Jews, Christians & Muslims,
youth & elderly
depleted ozone all
wake, eat, sin, breathe,
shit, fight, fuck
on
this
great
big
blue
ball

madness is in the stars, spaced out
never colliding.
shooting sometimes
moon covered-sun covered
galaxies black holes
the
war
is
space

the time
________is
___________unlimited
_______________________any man
_______________________can
________________create
______________________religion
or
say
he should
be
followed.

Brew

gut
burns
shit
stained
soul
red
_nose

wine
_port
glass

opened the door to failure, she my old friend

Glass of water half full
a sharpie
ash
corner of bread crust from
a tuna salad

sun glasses
never leave the
house

it's better to hear
then see

Lotion
shame looks
real good

God speaks to me through my record player

I feel it

it shines




can I see?


can't you see?


_______________shine love

()()()()
= = = =the lights candle never went down
but))>><<((we still made shame under a blanket


love
him
and
everyone

with equal love
and God nor he will
have anything to say too you

LOVE


God is a consuming

fire


spit ball
in a hollowed out Bic pen
wadded straw-wrappers
sucked on

to moist

inhale

put
mouth
next_______to blowgun


....SUNDAY SCHOOL....

they look like perfect shapes

dressed in sweatpants
her shopping_________cart
filled w/
+++++++++diapers
+++++++++canned baby food


middle aged woman
flirts passive
small smirk
by the meat alse

she brushed
by w/
a scent of cupons
and
expensive
bathing soaps


all
the
gay
men
go
shopping at 10:34am

___they're kept up
better than the striaghts

retaining dapper-dandies


the

old
((((asian)
retired seniors
smile
in b/w
catching


up


"hey, aha,...
____________-hello, how you've been>...good,good...umm I see, (chuckle
OK by..yeh, oh bye."

to
say

drained
life
working
to
food-career
pointless-job

we
play
catch up
in the supermarket
we
can
finally
see
each
____________other

face
to
face

and
meet
our
friends
and
relax

NOT
________SO.

Not So
not so
my


friend.

we
still

must____________________
_____________spend______


the
dollar


on
frozen
trays


w/ pill-like-form

health
swallowed



to


keep us


ticking


the shopping
_____________carts

carry
__only
______minimums

of food


the
______beast-machine

this
___)))Anti-Christ
_______called


slavery
has


drained

the
life-spirit-force


right out of us/

...if I ruled the world

if I took over
A computer company
and
FedEx


I could
___destroy
the


WORLD.

if my
computer
worked

I
could
level the keyboard


with on e
%%%%%%%%%blow

!!!!!!!OF THE FINGER TIP-thought

the tip of a
))<<>>((nail
bite
frankly in
frenzy

to
explore
the

lymph nodes
and cough drops


over
the
mucus
covered

tissue

next


to the mug
of warm

Brandy.


pigment-pale


Loss
of
blood-gut
_____________groans


the
muscle it takes
to
dream
thinks
all day
________of________
____---------the


INSANITY
it
caused

when

we


lost the grip

control
remote

on the
future

my

inclination

is to
die
a

lone

not

controlled
or

owned
by anything



in
this
world


I
AM

truly

a
Free
MAN

the waiting Game

In single file
________lines
to purchase
))))))))))Sandwiches, tires,
the
___mean
________mechanic
rotates
eyes and
whips a red rage
over
__________====+his
__right
shoulder pissed
off...


my
car
is finished

defeat looks better on the resume

Crumbled cotton,
_________hard
stale towel
w/ a wet moldy odor.

stepped into my interview
w/ a nervous stench
crawling
all over
the lobby
see
the cockroaches
scatter

"we'll pay you...9.50 an hour, plus benefits."


"what benefits?"


slave wages for
lower back pains

I
haven't had
a job since

12/12/05

I ran out
of money
8 months ago

I live on
hand outs,
hand-me downs,
laying on of hands.

humankind
turns
it back
and I'm about to die
w/o a cent
to my name...

I hear
laughter
and good times

closed-tired
doors creak
starving bellies
and bloody brains

this
is
a
reflection
of
my
subtle
blue

morn for me, man morn for me
pity is like a steak and eggs breakfast
we feast on snacks are too weak to feed
our soul-gut
I get up
and feel like
applying myself for
the first time
but my
resume
lays
in
the
gutter
w/ rain droplets
distorting
the ink
into
blurred tears
(I can't move)
frozen stuck
in headlights and
bumper stickers
I'm defeat w/a resume

my rasta I-man and the holy three

the morning was made with God's blessing. the rasta woke in his bed
with one old blanket. up on the hill he cooked food he found around the
fallen leaves, I woke up in the same jungle with gas pumps overpasses and gun shots
by street lamps around 35th and international. I held a stepping razor and a tooth brush
b/w my teeth; strut my legs, swift. I had placed the right hand on the handle of the toothbrush and proceeded with a forward/back motion, it really helped the enamel, and you could tell in the right sunlight but the hustle was on the back of many men and I could feel it in the way we squited our eyes...the traffic was backed up. the car was finally fixed. The time was 5:37pm and I could smell the fast food drive-throughs pile up I was eating no meat at the time and my gut was torn b/w health and death
I rather choose death with a whopper and med. fries and a Dr. pepper, but I suffered so...haven't been to chruch since 2005 I found my heart urning for a Little God to help my bank account but I knew they'd never understand the earth by locking up their check books in offering plates I met a few old pastors and they wore a honest smile
and talked human, but many of them just wanted to discuss damnation and do's and don'ts...I rather masterbate with jesus in the room, begging for my twisted artistic vision splattered on the floor with a pure heart...

love loss and the moving sky

life is good

got some peace


___________and


______quiet

now I can
_________handle
____the
____humans


and

...you


clear skies

removed of

hint


the
chill
goes

right
to my ears
and

makes

my

___nose
running


I still truck on

my feet
are sore

my
head

hangs


over

the
railing

I
vomit


out
comes

the
green

red
chunks

of
my

lunch
pale


I'm
mentally

sick

ups

downs

the

long lost
boyhood

playing
w/
toys

women
have
cooties

and
kickball

still
rules
the schoolyard

whores and wine

drink enough
look
Appealing
if we
fuck em'
enough
we'll
have
to
drink
more


if we made
______MORE
______MONEY
we
would
win

___________pussy, passion,
___________pleasure, purple hearts




models and metals


we're
of
a
cowardly
kind
that
can't
shine
our
face
on sides
of
automobiles
and
airplanes
in parking lots
and
airports
we couldn't
buy
time
if
they
sold it
next to
the
pisser

...the whores will
always fuck
and the
wino's will
always drink
no one gave up
on that


a whore
and a wino
better to
taste
the bottom
then live
in the middle

IOWA CITY

Everyone
+++++++++either
ages,Blooms,or
///////////////gets fat.

Some
________stumble home in
Poke-a-dot skirts and red
high heels
on cellphones
looking
for
friendship
on
the
other
line.



others get
_____________old
________________and Flirt, kiss,
and mate w/ young
women
______w/
++++++++++++knowledge
of their
________own
__________ stupidity.

others
________give in.
give up.
____________give away.
dreams,
women,
good jobs...
they're quiet.

reserved.

I
__too
______sit
reserved

but
_ _only
__________B/c
+++++++++++++I like
to
watch...
this
_____life,
this mishap,
__________this play,
this act...
_____________its so
choreographed
w/ broken
Bottles, wondering eyes, backstabbing friendships
hugging sluts
bringing in the new year w/ kisses
forgotten.

shallow depth
the bartender
gives out
free drinks
my eyes dried
out

b/c
of the
smoke.

I wished
to
return
to Oakland
Oceanside
of
my
mysitc hermit
----Loft
---So I
Could lock the door
and get
peace
---& quiet
but
- even
there
I have a Mess
to
deal with
no
=peace
no
====darkness
nothing
walking-waking
_______________blaring
Fools

that deprive me
of
sleep


my
lot

modern spiritual hymn

the battery pack
was jammed...
energy sapped
all we could do
is pray...a way out of this trap
if god let's us shine

to blind the pride
lion
roar

half serpent
half boar

her Majesty declared
war....

so much for

the brave whore
sucking at her wounds

at a young age I dealt with bottled up rage


turn the page
wanted to
roll over
in
the grave
read the dirt
till
one man came

none next to him

thieves AND thugs
locked in a
convex dimension

shameless plug

I can swing my slugs
only in prayer,
done out of love
..................never hate
some savior
to be
born of a babe

teens
having
kids

just
to die
to live

we cry
crucifix tears

this is the
seventh year
of the 2000
God gave

A
rams horn filled w/
of the blood of a thorn crown
kings will come to reign
and fall down
many soldiers bones will decay,
or
play
as ring tones...

sold to make
a prophet_his money

to feed
his poor pockets

blessed is the day of the
lord's tupac-olypse
when the wicked fall

mic cords w/
swollen lips
in stolen whips

drive...bye
thinking

(these streets need repaved)

sky high my winded sigh
relaxes the muscles in my eyes
focused on my heaven-hustle
seven stanzas
of em shits is bananas
held a hand cannon once
it's powerful
shields powered up
the steering wheels
forget the shining rims
pack a note pad of these spiritual
hymns

sing songs,
give
thanks.

slang
silly-bulls
or
walk the plank...

never drank w/ sharks
in Davey Jones locker
I'm...one part vodka
two parts holy mantra
whiskey-
wishing
-well
burn in water or swim in hell

a sober mans
first look
at his new born

a homeless man
points to mecca
and prays

I give my praise
in similar ways

cross and the switch blade
to the lost looking to be saved
angels and saints
repent and pray




this is slaughter
why bother

tribe of Judah
sharpshooter

walking the valley
of
death
dead-steps
at a lost of breath
beaten and bruised
weakened and used
he wipes the blood
off his breastplate
rocks stepping razor
in his player
on his way to Sunday
service
still nervous
about
past sins and
clenches
his ends...

his watch slips,
down his wrist
can't believe
just shot his kid.

God give us the serenity
to deal with the insanity
the broken down
humanity

sisters of the cloth, anoint
lepers in the goth
brother slang scriptures
whooping cough
picture a monk
a saint
at a blank page
going insane
hearts

the talk-walk

if
you
create
a
buzz
the
bees
will
swarm
one
bee
will
win
but
it'll
cost
her


her
stinger
the
wings
will
shrivel
her
hair
will
fall
out
if
the
reading
doesn't
go
right,
but
the
poet
knows
how
to
charm
he
should
be
able
to
at
least
take
home
honey
jars
of
pooh-
bear
pride

the week is almost over

pills
drugs
false
hope
and over due bills

when when it
be

over

stiff drinks

NAKED LADIES NEVER TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES

wonder the
breast size
and
hip size.
_________like to see
that
____ass
nude
w/ goose bumps-waiting
for a warm
_________touch

of the
____COCK...

Invest
in
a time piece
and tell
the future
by kissing nipples

but watch
for
the cotton mouth

its sure to taste

like panties
___under her pussy

rewind-reverse
her unfasten bra

lips
like lilies
earlobes

to suck
honey
suckle
and sweet teardrops
of morning dew
eyes raise
to see sunlight through
blinds
my morning-muse

nude in splendor
Clothed
in
succulent skin

erect-day dream

while I lose
my hearing

photo flap and depression

I took
a photo-flap
out of an
unused
wallet
and put it

in mine

so
I
could

Look
at HER
Picture

She was Beautiful
I found Myself
opening the Billfold
everyday
just
to view what pussy
I wasn't getting

wet
Dreams
Dry days and in B/W
was my sad lonely Look
headphones plugging
my ears
so I couldn't
hear the silence
that would
disturb
my steps...life is growing
all around me
but I refuse
to go along with it
I stay young
I
stay
Driven
I stay sucked
at soul
for some sort
of lifestyle-suffering
that would bring in a paycheck

but all was
froze this moment
my expired plates
on my 2003 sentra
sat in a parking lot
got a new ID
in a state
I only
visit
once
a year
confusion and misplacement
has never felt so Good.

faultline on the railroad tracks

______________________________________8:23am_______________________
_______________________"you feel that?"_______________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________the earth moved________________________________!
_____________________________________________________________________
________________________________________"it was a car on the over pass"
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
____________________________"naw it was an earthquake"_______________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
___________the railroad ties unfastened_____________ ____ _ - - _ - _
_____________________________________________and the morning AmTrak
rushes bye__________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
_____________________"see, I told you just the railroad earth, like Kerouac
and Neal, or the Gut under bellies of America still working after all
these years"__________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
_______________________...and we're to pity the poor and admire the rich._
___________________if I had food then I wouldn't complain about much_
________then, if I had a job I'd be eating regularly_____________________
fate remarked oddly, when he put me on this earth, to be a_______
man________________________________ chained to the_____________ word;
__________ wisedom kissed my forhead and I was ________________ALIVE!_
this was the rant---ramble-rave--- of the town the talk of the wished upon stars
of ___________________HoLlYwOoD
while I see bums wake up every morning
to their scattered treasure chest of clothes,________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________ boxsprings, chairs, and broken bikes
graffitti stained walls with wet paint...aRt shinning through the despair_____
about the time you're having your morning coffee at STARBuck$__________
he's letting his pants fall down in front of millions and they don't flinch or even
look, they're devoid of suffering they know not of the human experince anymore.
_____________________________________________________________________________
then there is me................................................................................a house bum-hermit
that should be out on the streets pushing carts of trash with a smile, forced.

computer died what a life it is

my computer died
but this little light flashes
like a glimmer of hope,
saying you might wake up in the morning to find it fully
operational and functional.
l
...but I sit with stolen moments on my roomates computer typing you this quick little rant...like a concentration camp
memoir, only the day is black and light is false.
when the sleep gets heavy on my eyes then I'll pass out to the worriesome cold that capusaltes my hellish figure.
_____- dante saw his vision of flames (still need to finish that peice of work but its so boring)
the sufferings of man due to his impoverished ponderings
of the afterlife.

joy and sorrows

as to say
this is a
upside
______- down
purgatory walk of
test
taking
bewilderment

nasty dream...and you're in it

had
a
nasty
dream
with

____an ex

(battle wounds)

sending me text messages
attached with
photos

of her

masturbating


I thought...

(that's a bad dream?)



...yea

she's a

_________headache

just waiting

to

happen

got to pouring another white Russian

and told myself

the cream
is

going to kill

you

sure

enough

a
pencil thin shit

leaked

out

and

blood

was

attached
this morning

(thinking she sent you pictures
of her perfect ass in the air
and all YOU can think about
is how awful
YOU

got it,


____________________ schmuck)

God, man, and the female mistake

"... I think it's spelled

with an...S"


what like

superficial


no, no like
super-hoe
the BDP
song


Scot-la-rock


yeah, man that's it....


super


Hoe

hold that thought until i shrink back...

recovered
from a hang over
the brake shop
had the
car


I had my blues

bad baby -broke
luck
stuffed in a notepad

skipped lunch
and headed
for the
bar by
_____________________noon
___________I
_t-h-i--n-k____
tomorrow I'll
look for a
job

I heard the place on
... ,_______________________________________________ um
23rd street was

hiring.

a cafe'
where I'd be able to
eye the young
hopeless
art
chicks

brushing up on their
hard starving
life
with a lonely
latte'
and laptop
foam
on their upper
lips
showing

that
mom and dad
sent
them
another
check
for the rent

and money was dwindling

me in
apron
hardly
seeing
a glimpse at the
typewriter
the keyboard
collects

someone

Else's


inspiration

Death of make up

----------
disposable
flesh tone
flawless
skin


you remember
when
we're
just children
I'm not sure
where
we
made
that
wrong
---turn*******

but
I'd like to
go ___k_c_a_b

___))))))))))))) _______((((((((((((((( the pile of leaves in the front
lawn
and the sprinklers
running
full blast
on brown
California
lawns
we'd jump through them as if
they'd
melt us
and that was the smile
and laughter
on
our
little
bellies

the eyes are giiving out and the drugs are wearing off

I better go get another
beer from the frig
"you know we could be the next Neal and jack!"
he said

"naw, us?... com' on yur druunx...yoou don'ts evend naw wh ut yur talkin' bout
they were mad crazy kicks man, we're new wave hipsters with no luck, fuct by tech no ology
my frrriennd"
I slurred back.
it was my fifth beer and after the bong hits
the pipes the pills and the occasional blow jobs
I thought- I could be Kerouac's ghost broke, restless and confused
shot in the dark it just be
holy-God-Christ toying with man kind letting them know
he doesn't shit around
with no talent
fools that forgot the railroad
but my railroad of the dirt-dust-to-ash-grave
is covered with graff
and the new rhythm is still
black fueled hip hop with a hustler and
dope dealer's Iceberg slim-pen


but again
who am I to say
what

I



AM...

shooting the keyboard

today I played around with sound
__ and made my ears
______________________________________________________________ ring
soon my plan
of
killing the
(whole)______ human race
will be finished...
I got a gun ,
there not that hard to find around east Oakland
w/ there serial scratched off...
the point isn't that I"d have a gun in the first place,
it's just this mexican guy
from down the block
on E.12th street and miller...
"he thinks he's shot shit if doesn't put down his pen and stop writting that shit about clouds filled with smog and write some real work THEN I'M FUCKING going TO fuckinKILL HIM..."
no point ruffling
_________peacock feathers_______

we just have a dispute
so I went and got the gun.
Once in my posession
I thought
"what me, take human
life?"
sure
seemed
r
_isky
and almost impowering
but
not _____-----the kind----
you'd take it up the
butt for 25 to life
blood is a paper cut
to
when
you
hear the
_____________________________________prison doors shut...

****note from author*****Try reading that last poem from the
_____b
______o
____________t__-_-_----t
______________________om





up

the smell
was
____dank
but it ran down the brown
walls
___if this is dyin,
I wonder what living is like?



in life
we
grow
old


in
_death
we
grow
_____young.

I Don't have time
to talk
about
________________________________________ poetry
only
___to write it...
I don't have time
to
play catch up
with my failures
only to keep
my current disappointments


at the drug store
picking
up
kleenex,
lotion,
and a fashion magazine
the
clerk looks at me
funny

I put my plam
up in the air
YES...THIS IS
THE HAND I MASTERBATE WITH

THE HAND I PRAY WITH

THE HAND THAT I EAT WITH

WIPE MY ASS WITH
THE HAND THAT FLIPS YOU OFF
WHILE DRIVING DOWN 88O
SOUTH
____I'm
___n
_____SANE
__I



YA GET IT NOW GO GET
MY CHANGE FROM YRRR
LIL' DROOR
AND
let me use yr restroom
sit down
taking a shit
crying my eyes out
reading a
fashion magazine
I apply the lotion to my
face to cover up the tears
Flush
get
up
and walk
out of the store

A
NEW

MAN.
(20 minutes later)

the shit is hitting the fan

spelling errors in dark code

by the time the lights are out
eating a bowl of rice and drinking a glass of water in a room with one light
and white
walls
hair=poet-mad
wild wordy fever
insanity looks a lot like below
to
be dead...
is to be at peace
but I'm wide awake
with bowl of rice in left hand
fork in other
and this quintessential
look
a
proper fellow
with Brightly blues
that saddened the cheeks of his lover
his is the story that keeps
telling stories
never bored or he'd of
ended his life long ago
he tried three times before
with no such luck
but this time
he'll be dead when the
light switch
goes click
Down
upon the
shoulder of the road
he's broken hood up
blinkers on
thumb out
cold
chilled to the metacarpus

faith,the internet, and 5 other women

he woke up did his routine, logged into his blog site cruised

the women on the Internet
did a double take on a girl named faith...
checked out her profile then moved on seemingly unaffected
next week he got a review of his work in the Times at the same time the girl
sent-slid a little note in his mail box saying, along the lines, of how she liked his half-ass poetry and his narcissistic mirror reflection. She, like Oliver, wanted more...he was ready to charge her. She sent him little links to help his high.. he smiled and said a thank you.
they started talking, exchanging photos and small words as the month moved on so did those small words. they grew and grew then it exploded...love was professed maybe on both sides of the coin too quickly. As the coin flipped into the air at just this moment his good-luck changed, both lived on different continents,
both broke without pennies or pounds, skinny and unassuming.
all of their friends thought they where crazy (maybe they were right)
he thought.
Maybe they were crazy-go-lucky-dreamers without sense of reality.
he didn't mind or seem to care, she didn't either.
they both happily exchanged addresses so as, to send gifts of affection across the sea that separated them.Utterly helpless to ever meet "that's life, a shit deal" he'd say
shit on both ends of the stick.
she had a beautiful 4 yr old boy whose heart was open, loving, and compassionate,
under the circumstances of his mother's manic highs' and lows'. The man didn't seem to see her flaws nor could he foresee any danger, it just excited his imagination into a frenzy of fire, his muse, he'd found a flower capable of always staying colorful
sure there are thorns, sure there is a cut stem to place in a vase, but the man saw broken, clipped roses as radiant mistakes of God's perfection. In her and his inability to hold one another-they where freely able to explore the world of worlds the dream of long-lasting dinner conversations...that went on for days, hours, years. filled w/ laughter, tears, passion, lust, sadness, fears-future plans were all discussed at the dinner table.
If they get to touch, the man feared he'd turn her to stone she was afraid, also,
more because she knew herself in all of her splendor she was still flawed. Able to yell, have outburst, throw things at him, hit him, fear being hit.
They were Blunt and honest wrapped in one they reflected this world w/ such glare it'd blind newborn children right in the womb. Shocked into shopping for airline tickets, wanting so bad to sit in the same room the man talked about taking a loan out to visit her in London or even her home. She also wanted to get away and come to America. But she quit her job and didn't have enough money for monthly bills, food, the rent on her flat. They both prayed for a miracle.
the man told her if her heart was pure her wish would come true, but the man didn't see how his own wish would amount.
knowing he only had his pen, his reading lamp, a towel hanging over a water pipe that ran through his room a 25 dollar stereo that played the classical station at night.
as he drifted off into sleep he knew he could only do one thing to bring her close to him


that was
to
Dream.

poems
by
Josiah





end
________table
lamp
____perfect
and dim

bowl of coins, condoms, shoelaces, dental floss, lip balm,
pipe, 3 candles,
one scented, two plain

a old book of poems
bible
underneath
the
end
table


there is
a bowl of cereal
milk from this morning___spoon
hardening
3 bottles, two empty, of Blue moon
-BELGIAN
WHITE_WHEAT ALE
picture of
_____Jesus
my
__Shoes
A
book
_____temple
__________of
____Sound

one
last line then
Cinderella's
glass
slipper
will
pass out
having to
wake up in
________morning
to scrub
Life-floors
to
make
a DIME

too much blood down the drain

tapping the knee
with my index finger
___________________________________

_________tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap,... tap tap tap
____
__
_
I grunt
nothing happens

-----------I get up from my toilet
put the seat down
flush then
head upstairs

the whole
time
I'm just waiting for
jumping heart
missed breath
fumble of feet

___anything_____
___to stop_______
____my________
_______life_____

___B____
___U____
___T____

nothing happened
I can barely type
I can barely see
I can barely think

the freeway was empty
the cars went home
the fog settled
on the street light
I was on my way

but I woke up on my couch in
the morning
I missed
the gym
the health food
store
the nice talks with
young girls


I missed it
all

All I had
was this bloody
spinning headache
with poisoned
lips that shouted
chuckles at
GOD

I must be a fool
...to play such a game
as
this.

poolhalls, thickhighs, and loneliness

he was
trying
to hard
to
reassure
himself
that he could
pick any one up in
the bar...
but
he had
no confidence

in
the mirror
the
girls didn't
eye him
(or me, for that matter)
he kept
telling
about his ex
A Barzilian aupair

that was poor in english
my german
wasn't
talking to me
but my mind
was on a girl
I never met
in england
one
I never even
saw,
touched,
kissed
but
she

writes
me daily
and we
talk of fireplaces
and kindled wood,
and rainy nights

DROPS
DENT
DREAM
on
there
way
down
from cloud-heaven
we'd warm each other
w/ cozy blankets
and
hot chocolate
sipping
each others
... tastebuds
and passing out w/
only
an
ocean
seperating
us...


pity
she's

not
here

but this guy
was
trying to get
laid
....and I'll I thought was
he's
no match for the poet...


A
true
boxer
of
words
&

charm

cage

my hands
can speak
still
cut
off
my
tongue
can still
think

stop my breathing
and I
shall

no longer

have to dream
...

I have no way of escaping death's row

my longings
for outside
worlds
are
trapped
inside
my
head
which wieghs
a

TON

poesy for the poor

in spirit

in humility
in the arts

in the life
and times

of one of the most
ecentric men
you'll ever read about
he likes to wake up

to two bowls of cerial

dash off to classes
where he studies the music

then its home to record
songs then
stays up to the wee hours
penning poems
and drawing
portriats of faces he
can't get out
his head

and one moment is
overwhelmed
into the
last year
of life
where
things are
safe to say
the most interestingthey've been
since he ran out of milk
and used beer
in that two bowls of





cerial.