the sleep in eyes is not the dust in dreams

foolish man
foolish boy
what is to be said about the
wrong of man
that would
reflect back in eyes of dismay
and dpression
t
h
e

last word we saw of this nature
was the last of a dying breed
of digital men and robot
fingers

I don't know if i belong to this
crazy man hunt
or the racing rat

the
truth is
fame isn't a door bell
to wealth

nor is the
creativity flawless

so they cover up there disfunction
with stressed muscles and
out stretched bitter
prude hands empty

love

was

washed away
in a wave of failure
welcome to

the shell

wings of a nun stay grounded in none

_____________________________we talked
________________________and found the

____________________chalk board filled with
_________naughty nature
_
___________________________________the kind that

_____________________lil children
________________________draw

_____________piss-pants
________and
______________________this
________and
______________________that

_____________i miss my spirit
_____while I feed
______________________the nature

____________such is like
________________________a
________________________child on a chalk
_____board

____without rewards only
_____punishment
________________can reveal the disciplines
____of a revolutionary
____that
____has
____stock piled
____________a arsenal
______of regrets
____________________and misfourtunes





I need to realize the
dance club
where shy men
hold tongues
b/c of beauty
that hasn't
formally
been
touched COME UNDONE



for elly

the clock is a shining memory of age

24 fl. OZ
of coors light
pumps through the keyboard

out shits a

barely wheat wit

that slurs his hatred
and consumes the good nature of
everyone

around him

belly
gut


button
love

if a child
was to come in this world
right now
he wouldn't know what to
say but
"kid, the bottle that feeds you never leaves yr lips
even at my age."

his/her big blue eyes
and drool slipping out the side-
smile would
look
back
and finally
feel
the nature
which sits is in us


ALL

if the lights and camera are rolling I'm ready for my close up

"...I'm a actor."

"what roles have you played."
..................she looks into certainty

"well, I acted like I was in a good relationship, was a nice charming fellow,
a good writer...the list really goes on."


butterfly glamor shots
was in
make up
for
hours

till they finally put a coat of
happy on soooo thick
my balls' profusely drip
sweat

the last dying leg of reality was shipped out through
doors
that
shut
on
me
like
a
bad
script
in
a
exec's office

the mail room clerk comes in...
{enter stage left with bag of cocaine}

" Mr. so-so super star, yr on in 5."

rushing lights I"ve been on set since
6am
and now you want
me to shower down
the golden
talent
of the
Greek gods?

musicman

he'd
bang on loud
drums
saying

things
like
'jesus will be here when we're dead or def'

but would they come true
would there be a sinner in all of us?
he'd cash in on the brown velet sand-skin
mattress under the overpass
he'd ask for crack-handouts
and lite trash at night
he
didn't look like
a
prophet
just
a
homeless
man
with lil
luck
and
a
stench
that
never
attracted
a
bee hive
of
behind
ass

I'm not
sure
prophets
care
about
ass


i sure
the
hell
do...

the end is the best, if the start never clicked

she
_________hogs
the pillows and blankets

its
not
the first time
i had to deal
with the
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ §§§§§§§§§§§ ....... leaving
of long lips,
or the legs that had me wrapped
around and clutched.
a fashion of constriants
it was the first real time
i felt that the
world would
enclose on myself.
and the only thing
I could show for anything
was that
I had a dying love of the
arts and song.
no woman would stop
the writing
no matter how they tried to change me...
it couldn't be done
over night or in
a days of yelling

in daze of
```````````````````` uncertainty
I wept for her because
i saw
her for the helpless
hopeless puppy eyed
clench
the
dog bowl
of dried food
untouched,
the water with hair
in it.
the door would open and the mutt
would run and jump up and down
humping my leg
and finally I saw it...the end
was in sight

freedom
is the spirit
of
wanders
and panhandlers

I wish
to be
poor
so
I tapped
my heels
three times
and
said
"there's no place like
the road"

life's short

"I don't care about
that kinda shit.
I'm going to die
and
that
couch
will still be here.
I mean,
what's the point...



not life.

the couch."

lost shoe lace

"it
wasn't
my
fault
that
the
donkey
of
the
city
would
kick
yr ass"

tom
was
a
drunk,
not a mean one,

but
a
drunk
he'd
push
people
over
piss
himself
punch
friends
stab
the
carpet
and
cry

when
the
crowds
left

he
knew
he
lost
something


a
comedy
show
laughter
is sought
out
by
fools
but
__________the
crowd
goes numb

just then,
tom
holds
his
dick
and crop dust's
the whole front row

blaming life
going
hard
on some
girl's
24
birthday

youth group 92'

"HEY GANG!
listen up,
quiet... i need yr attention
remeber to pack warm for the ski trip to moon dance mountain."

moondance was this sorry excuse for a ski resort in iowa
it was a little hill w/a couple snow-making machines
that pump'd out
soft white
fanatasy flakes
for the poor farm kids
to
fall/slide down

"the trip is gonna be way cool
we got some alone times planned for the guys."
the youth paster dan tells us
we sigh*******

"and the girls are gonna go with my
wife ann"

dan's wife never kissed him till
the alter you wouldn't see em
hold hands or barely smile at each other
this made attending these events more grousome.
along side the hymns and the bible applicatable
teen-age scripture

as to say here
HERE's a WAY to deal with the
drugs and sex topics
the same way jesus
would deal with shit?

kids at that age want to cause
rukus and grow
like
wild
devils

the ones that remained
lacked
the
knowledge
cuz
they
never risked the pain and hurt of suffering
under the truth of
freedom+++++

ann shoemocker
was
to be
dan bownski's
love affair

dan was
an aging
mid 30s
born again, gut staring down
the signs of demesication
old class clown that
found
chirst


where was the son of man
hiding?????
an old relinguished
teenage
tom
hanks like in BIG

he never had the spotlight
but was
"redeemed" under a
"higher calling"

who makes the call
is it an angel
"oh yeah dan this is saint peter
no, no the one at the gate....
what gate?...heaven...yep...no...well
its about your calling."

the godly ministry
of the church to god
and away from the ills
of society's sinners
he was the same kinda
of guy that had a
chirstian youth news
article on
how to talk
the
hip new lingo
that the kids where sayin
but it was always three years
late on slang
and had know connecting value in the reality
of the childerns lifes'

this was my youth my shaping of
vaules

a revolutionary internet hacker

reform....for those who think wisedom
is skin deep
look through the hearts of men

to find
spirits....that keep us inspired

you capture the mind


wait till the body decays...



spirit is all
one
will
be
left
with
.
.
.
keep shining
yr spirit
soon
you
could
free
the island...

keep strong

keep up the war

modern poets

modern poets are dull
========= and only seem to focus
on some inner
shallow
monologue,
that only strings
the reader along
with a jr high

dance equivalent


wishing
to
grab the
female's ass
and cop

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\||||||||||||||||a feel of virginity before


it leaves their little penis'
________________________hard for candy

they forgot about
the soft depreciated flabby skin
that holds their
slimline-cased souls in

if they were to let go maybe, just maybe


they could remember
it ain't about
the pussy
but the
elegant
dance
of a
:::::::::::: ballroom

and then
they could
truly

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::Dance their
little
lives
*************************away

poor genius

I'm A GENIUS


that's what barry wants on his tombstone

"I want the world to know"
he's not like the fools at the market place

you see leaving with a nights meal. no.

he was a gentlemen lover of many women
in his young prime, now pot belly sinks low and the eyes
black
bags
as
if
too
say
*************
*************
***********&*
& to the races!!!!



...nothing of that sort
this was more dangerous.

"barry's been off to college
for the last five years and never had

a
cavity."



his

mother

told

st
ra
ngers

th
is

almost everyday
and
he'd___________
hold
his nuts
on the dinning room table
after dinner


and laugh at the lot

"yr all a bunch of sissy's and cowards..."

no one paid mind

barry was just having it out
w/ the Big guy...you know?...God.


thats what mother told people

big

DOWNFALLS

ADD

UP

WELCOM
E
TO


THE PICTURE SHOW.

back in the day

remeber when

we gave two shits

the poetry was better
and
the women use to flock
doves flap in broken wind
the lake-brown-water
where swans sit
are polluted
the streets
are
taco trucks
and flat gum
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
...
...
.......the need to rember when
time was bout
GI joes
and soakin
them in
hair spray
...
...
...
****
lighting
the
match

and

watching the world

burn
to the
ground

"hold on my Iphone
is Idialing in my pocket
and My Ieye in Iblind"

the

remembering of a simple
childhood pile of
leaves
in a digital
photo
of
Igreengrassinthemiddleofwinterandthe
picture


is



blurred

welcome
to
memories

"mushroom head welcome to the information age."

the night was
long

like those days that
never end.
but if you see the sun rise
while playing a casio keyboard,
you picked up in Denver
at an arc thrift store,
while with yer ole
lady shopping for the
trinkets of joy,
then you'd know
that this night was all about the
lights and the
highs

and the sesame honey covered cashews
and the
starburst jelly beans of joy
that made (mixed with the weed, beer, shrooms,and valum)
the belly ache

constant trips to the bathroom
to
see if yr face melted completely
and fell into yr heart
and morphed
to a beating lust
of self


then we can talk
of

what

joy

was
robbed

when

we

assumed
that the world was going to end

and we hadn't seen the old country
of men wrinkled at the sight of the new world
she told me the euro
was good to her

and a bed was made just waiting for me

.
.
.
good night

6am
sunrise over oakland
the stems and caps
wore
off...back to

slumber-all-salty-the night
semen didn't stick to our
visions of ego

ready aim fire


this

is
to
be
the sure

shot of

hell

wooden nickels

wooden nickels

balloon
throat

bubble-skin

troubble
keeping

the


air___________IN

needles
poke

hives

to die


close to death

sigh


why

not

this
time

so
elusive
the
woodennickel
it just can't buy

that
luck


deth
is
the
hustle


live is the scam

and
lambs
blood
stains
the front door

chewing
on
wooden

nickels

wooden nickels

THE ROOM

WAS
WHITE

AND HAD THESE SHELL-LIKE
SHEETS THAT HUNG TO KEEP
THE DYING FROM SEEING THE LIVING
I WAS GOING TO BE EITHER
NOT SURE OF MY SHEET
THE NURSE
ENTERED
AND ASKED ABOUT
THE BREATHING
"WELL ITS BEEN HARD TO BREATHE
SINCE THE PEANUTBUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH
THAT I MADE THREE HOURS AGO"

AT THAT TIME FIVE NURSES
STROLLED IN
AND STARTED
FILLING MY ARMS
WITH BEAUTIFUL
NEEDLES
AND THEN
THEY LEFT ME TO SLEEP
IN A DRUGGED COMA
OF RELAXATION
THEN THEY GAVE ME PILLS
AND SENT ME ON MY WAY I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN FIVE DAYS
AND
I THINK

#########
#########
THINK
I'D

RATHER
EAT A
ANOTHER PEANUTBUTTER
AND
JAM
SAM

AND NEVER
BREATHE
THE SMOG IN
AGAIN


WOODEN
NICKELS
ARE
POSION
THAT
WAS
THE BEST
DEATH
ONE COULD
HOPE
FOR

excerpt from new short story

Barry was blue, not sad, but bright blue.
he wore a lime green scarf with a checkered blue and white collared
shirt. his girlfriend bought his clothes mostly at the salvation army.
his girlfriend was skinny,akward, and referred to as the junk lady by most the town's
inhabitants. When they would drive around getting lost in the nearby cities
he'd yell at the top of his lungs "FIX YR FUCKIN STREETS DENVER!!!!!"
as they sunk in each pot hole. While driving over the speed limit by 8 miles, this was thier first rocky mountain adventure barry had been on since his days with the missionaries of his humble parish. In the foothills of the small village where he spent most of his devloping adolessence. when growning up he felt like he was unlike anyone.
Execpt when he was 12 yrs old he slipped his tongue on liqour and the neighborhood
was the stomping ground of fools. they'd run inside and get their fathers .357 handguns and point them at barry.
Mostly out of envy and jealously for barry was a true freeman, a true free spirit.
Unhindered by conventions or regulations

"anyone would hate someone with such vigor!"
he'd tell the junk lady
while turning down colfax
on the way to the riteaid to purchase chirstmas cards and hair brushes.
On nights barry had to hold down his part time job...his girl would go to the store and pick up some food at the local market.
she'd make
salads, tacos, mac n' chesse, homemade pizzas...
they ate on an air matress and watched
007 the ones with roger moore.
"I quite like this one...where dr. no's
layer is deep in the swizz alps..."
the junk lady would say
before thumb sucking and hair twirling would commense.
she told barry that the thumb sucking claimed her down.

....."it clams me."

why? yah look stupid doing it."

Well...I've been doing it for 25 fuckin years!!!"

"that's my probelm with it. you're 25!"


if they ever argued it was over trivial things like this.
Barry would masterbate whenever he could, usually when lilly
was in the shower once he did his dirty deed into a tissue.
then when the shower water turned off. ubruptly tuck his blue vien back into
his boxers, shove the kleenex in his left pants pocket.
the next day at the supermarket barry reached in his left pocket and sure enough pulled out a dry crusty tissue of self loathing.
It was right by the meat alse...self conscious of the fishy smell he picked
up a pack of shrimp...
"let's cook this with rice and a nice wine."
lilly was an excellent cook
she spent most of her time in the kitchen
mixing spices and herbs into grains and sauces.
the food always tickled Barry's throat and gut.
they'd spend an average of 40$ a week on booze.
Barry would drink white russians, Long Islands,mudslides, liqour 43,
jack and cokes, by the time Barry was 29 he already had two beer guts and was
working on a 3rd.
"mostly saving up for a rainy day with the grand children."

motel 6 blues

I'm
__________just a

cheap
******* bar********
of

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$thin



soap


paper
white
towels

interchangable
lights
switch


re
enforced
locks

the envy

of

skid
row

the
road

home
toad
of
long
suffering

three days
where the
highway

from the
70 (east)

to

the

80
(west)
^^^^^^cable channel stuck on
++++ cartoon
networks^^^^^^^^
to

the

61
north
54
west
35
south

40
west

5
north

580

880

80
....just a bar of soap
not scented
not
cared
for

disregarded
and

fresh linens

after I placed
that
room card
on the
counter

"room 221...room 229..."

"how much
for
one
halo?"


>>>>>>>>>>>>"that'll be 35.99 plus tax..."


weary eyes cloud
"I take it."

I
first
tried to sleep
at
a
rest stop
next
to truckers

with their
lights dimed
and televisions

playng::::::::}}}}}{{{{{{



american flags
tacked up
to
cover
the
sunlight

road
warrior-nomads

they
speak in
tongues

MY LOST LOOKER OF LOVE

longed
liquid
lush-lunch
lengthened
legs
on
linens
line
the
lust
w/
lips
lick lungs taste
language
.

life is like camping before you die

SHE
SUCKED
AT
SICKLE
HONEY
SUCKLE
SAT
SASSY
ON
HER
SAGGING
SACHELS
SADDLE
BAGS
SHOT
UP
SPINE
SPRINKLES
OF
GOLDEN
SHOWERS
SLIPPED
DOWN
SIDEWALKS
SHE
SLID
WALKED
SLIPPING
SLIPPERY
WET
STOCKINGS
AND
ALL...

old songs

they
______tell

me
.............of

now
::::::and

then


when
:::::::life
was
-------easier
to
dream
in



and
greener
grass
was
in
::sleep**********

slowly
we
age


hair on back
shaving ear lobes


and

trying to
save

hard bucks earned


but
°°°°°°°°°nothing
seeks
______out
the recluse

__________he
__________is
__________un
__________able
__________to
__________leave
__________his
__________dwelling.

The
end
of


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::old
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::songs...


old
like
yesterday



songs...like

hummingbirds

or

songs
like
numb
driving
radio hits
................______(trips)

and
the
Television
suffers
:::::::::::w/o
___________depth


camera flashes.


They
_____talk of
_____britney's
children

and running
____red lights.

drug test
of
the


WHO'S WHO


but they to
are old songs

_______________old
_______________like
_______________yester
_______________day


songs
like
___woodpeckers

or
songs
like
plastic surgery
gone
wrong.

we're

old
songs,
awaiting
new
formats

_________D
_________Y
_________I
________N
_________G
I
N

D
I
G
I
T
I
A
L

____WON'T

Be
as
::::::::fun

bye
analog
::::::::::WORLD

good
bye


my

old

song

buildings are nothiing but bricks

jeans
___torn
_______showers
vacant


the

fragrant


s
m
e
l
l

emulates

from

faberic

3
old

days

SOMEONE
********HAS******
AN ED OPUS COMPLEX
HE
THOUGHT
I WAS

A
MESSENGER...

CONFUSED
HE
AWAITS
THE
REFUTING




...BUMBLING
FOOL...



i
SUPPORT
(YOU)

AGE

AGE
___IS HAPPENING ALL AROUND ME

:::::::::::WATCHING
::::BIRDS PERCH IN BETWEEN
************************DIAMOND CHAIN
________________________________LINKED
________________________________FENCES
}}}}}FRIENDS HAVE WEDDINGS,
$$$$$]]]]]]]]]]]] CHILDREN,
)))))))))))))))))))))))))BUYING
"""""""""""""""""""""""""____---HOMES
WITH FULL BASKET BALL COURTS IN THEIR
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^BACKYARDS
SLEEPING ON AN AIR MATTRESS
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@WRITING WORDS IN
A STUDIO APARTMENT
######### THAT BELONGS TO TELLY, WE'VE BEEN MAKING SONGS
&&&&&& TALKING
ABOUT ALL THE CRAZY MUSIC
++++++++++++++++++++++++++THAT'S
_________________________________BEEN
SHAPING THIS NEW CITY GYPSIES
______________________________GENERATION
THE RECLUSIVE YOUNG-SAINTS
COMPOSER W/ HONEST PROSE
PAINTING PICTURES OF OAKLAND
OR
THE
MILES
DAVIS
OF
OUR
MADLIB GENERATION
JAMES JOYCE
MAD GENIUS OF
MF DOOM

THE WILD NEW BLUE NOTE-STONES THROW


AS I SIT AND
_______WATCH
___________aGE
____TAKE MY MIND-GUT
FRIENDS
HAVING CAREERS FORM

(FAMILY)

)))BROTHERS((( STARTING FAMILIES
______WORKING
______HONEST.


i STILL CALL
HOME
FOR MONEY
TO PAY
-____--__-_-___--__-___--MY BILLS
AND
____EAT
AS

I TRAVEL
___TO
NEW CITIES; HOMELESS
POPPING PILLS
TRYING TO LAND
A
GOOD JOB AND START A DECENT LIFE
_____MY LALILOVE FLIES FROM
GERMANY ON OCT 30TH 2007
TO STAY WITH ME FOR 3 MONTHS
W/ A POSSIBILITY OF US GETTING MARRIED DOWN @ THE
______________________________________________COURT
______________________________________________HOUSE
IF
POSSIBLE
DEPENDING
ON, IF SHE CAN GO AND VISIT GERMANY WITH IN TWO YEARS
AND IF SHE LIKES DENVER, BUT I'M NOT SURE I LIKE DENVER
I'LL
TRY
TO
ENROLL
IN
SCHOOL
BACK
IN
THE
BAY
AREA
IN
MARCH.
AGE IS HAPPENING ALL
AROUND ME.

I
STILL WANT
TO LIVE
ON SCHOOL
LOANS
SO I CAN
WRITE
W/O HAVING
A
__JOB
___SO
I CAN
GAIN
KNOWLEDGE
AND

PAY MY BILLS...WITH LITTLE TO NO
_____RESPONSIBLY________________
MY FATHER GOT
_____________HIS
____FIRST
_____REAL
JOB
IN HIS MID 30S
ALSO MET
MY
MOTHER
AND
SHE
WAS
PREGNANT WITHIN
2 MONTHS WHILE BOTH OF
______________________THEM
ATTENDED A THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY..
_______HALO'S
AND SAINTS
BORN OUT OF LUST
________________THEIR SANCTIFICATION
WAS TAINTED
LIKE
ALL
OF
OURS.

AGE IS HAPPENING
_______________ALL
AROUND US...
MY FATHER'S HEARING AID IS GETTING
OLD.

MY
___MOTHER'S GUT IS FAILING
A
N
D

I LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND
SEE
A
FACE OF BOTH

LOSING MY HEARING
_________________AND DEALING
WITH MY
ULCERS......................I TOO
FALLEN PREY
TO
FALLEN
PREY
TO
FALLEN
***GR
***AC
***E

LOSS
OF
SAINTHOOD

OH
LORD
WHERE
IS
MY
DREAM...?
HAS
IT
TOO
FALLEN
PRAY

_____________TO

AGE???

GROWN UP COSMO GIRL

""""""""""""""""THE ASS
""""""""""""""""AND TITS
""""""""""""""""WILL SAG
""""""""""""""""AND BUTTS
""""""""""""""""WILL GET
""""""""""""""""OLD. TRY
""""""""""""""""TOO HOLD
""""""""""""""""ON GIRL
""""""""""""""""BUT ITS
""""""""""""""""TOO LATE.
""""""""""""""""SHE SHOWERED
""""""""""""""""SHAME, WORN
""""""""""""""""GUILT AND
""""""""""""""""THEN TICKETED
""""""""""""""""HER WAY
""""""""""""""""BACK INTO
""""""""""""""""ARMS...



GROWN UP
___________COSMO
____GIRL

earthquake mirror

___the
________Lilly
__wilted;
_________the
_____roes
______________fell
_a
___p
_______a
____r
____________t
___the
_______c*o*n*c*r*e*t*e
:::::::::::::::::::::::::put
::::::::::the
:::::::::::::::foot
______________down
___________________a
____jungle
______________was
______made
__________to
______jump
______________up
________&
_____________down
_______till
___________she
_____________shakes
________back
___________with
________________such
______________________vigor
______that
________we'd
_________________pee
________our
_________________-pants
__:__
__:__



that
we'd
pee
our
pants
up
&
down
till
she
shakes
back
with
such
vigor
the lilly
wilted;
the rose
fell
a
p
a
r
t
the
concrete
put
the
foot
down

a
jungle
was
made


to
jump

LA/IOWA/AZ/San Deigo/The BAY/DENVER

born and raised

here


did my schooling
here


partied
and got the inspiration here

struggled and barely stood a float
here


a

new job
here...



the train of Kerouac haunts
my window in east Oakland
rushing bye
making sure I never sleep so I can take

all this

life

in

I meet people
I try to be
filled an anxious answer
to all the suffering
but I knew that saints march in
only to be victorious in heaven
and
despised on earth


my birth name
means God supports

and he does
he is often the leg
that keeps my crutch
together

long ago
I got the sickness
and

since then I've been
poor and hidden from this world now I'm lashing out

I only wanted to

be

an artist

in this world

and to

paint and

gain the

fame

that only

comes to the shit kicking

poets


of
yester year


now the long lost

Ideal of

social movements takes the hind
seat for
some

foolish race to media

glamor butterfly shots

they forsake their
character

to chase

bills that buy packaged-processed
foods

0 trans fat!
0 trans fat!

this is on all food
so fat people think

skinny is in their grasp

in there


reach for some kind of
immortal US weekly cover


the

trick

is
to believe

that someone out there
is better than God

once you buy it

you're no longer able to see

yr forehead and heart will be marked


I'm that last call

booze on Sunday
stale Monday morning

________________grave


there was this one time where the inspiration was so
profound that I got goose bumps and the air changed scents

the world was
alive
and I knew

it



it all changes

in a

beating

of blood racing
through

hearts



here

we

are

with a
car
load of belongings


not

belonging


to

anything

:::::::::::::long ago
::::::::::::A fire
::::::::::::burned
:::::::::::::::::::::within
now
::::::::::::::one little
:::::::::::::: coal
:::::::::::::::::::flicker-glows
on
/off
with
::::::::::::::::::::such saddness
:::::::::::::::::::::that it
:::::::::::::::::::::brings
a tear
of joy to my eyes
as
the
saltwater rolls off
my cheek
bone
I
::::::::: watch

the
----coal
__________steam
________________from
____________________contact
and
---finally
---die
down...
_______________________let
_______________________the
______________________end
_______________________of
_______________________ a
______________________dream
_______________________wake you
_______________________up
______________________to
_______________________stark
_______________________empty
_______________________living
_______________________cuboards.

workwhoreweekly

work HARD

to die
in
dirt



boy
poor
hustle
to
be
immortal
is
such
a
pipe
dream##you
might
as
well
blow
up....

if
drinking
makes you
vomit
throw up in
a sink
if
dancing
makes
yr tempo go
off beat

spin-around-dizzy

.
.
.
DUMB

then hike up yr skirt

and

piss
in
the streets
someone will lackluster-lick yr urine
up
off
trampled
cement

put
it
on

a
billboard
and
sell
it
for
millions

the
world
will
win

it'll look like
God
is nowhere

then

like
the
crack of
fireworks

the beauty
will
explode

inhale
joy
.
.
.
AMEN

the equation

the artist

====he
=====has
A
unique
--_++++++job
from god
______________His
__________________+++lot

======???====is
to
-paint
-the
-human-
-soul-
-life


---on
----a
-----meduim.

equally, his
____________pain
in this world exceeds
___________the limits
of
the
average
human
___________where
discomfort
&
saddness
dwell
---------he
-----------finds
the
human
soul

alive
w/
empty
belly
beating heart

the ARTIST

thinks of only
food and mere
----------surivial


--allowing
himself
---to freely breathe
-----------------w/o
_______________________attachments

he
----knows
__________little
_______________of
________________conventions
for
_________ he
feeds off pure imagination
and creative enviroments...

the lasting thought of the dream

...and never obtaining it, is what saves the artist from ruin
he
is allowed the freedom of his
thoughts
________the ability
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°to
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° be

unhindered
by
the
outside
world
of
critical
thought

if
lendgends where
allowed
to live
untampered
by
the
praise or hatred
of
the critics


then
will
the artist
obtain
greatness
of

art...

hiss

<><><><><>TAPES
<><><><><>HAD
<><><><><>AN
<><><><><>AIR
________________ABOUT
--------------THEM...


THE
****HISS
*********WOULD
_________________CLOUD
THE

___________BOOMBOX-
-------------------GHETTO
--------------------------BLASTERS.

THE MUSE

____________________After
______________________sex
_____________________she

____________________knee-kicked
_____________________________me
_________________________in
________________________the head
.
.
.
_________________________kinda
__________________________of
_______________________romantic
________________________abuse
_______________________that
_________________________would

_________________________start
___________________________a
_________________________wave
___________________________of
__________________________words

FAME

there is a
__________two
___________2
________two

sided

mirror


one
would
want
you

to
believe
that
brad pitt
will be remembered
forever

another
side
would
let
you

know
about


Jesus,
Buddha,
Gandhi,
Kerouac,
Kempis,
Bukowski,


then you'll
graduate
and
close yr history
books


and

turn on yr television

and


let


the
b*r*a*i*n*w*a*s*h*i*n*g


continue


I pour
my
^^^^^^^glass

to

you


...we

probably
won't

meet

after
the
grave
.
..

did you


fart?


well,


...then
__WHAT'S
--SO
--FUCKIN
--FUNNY
????

haikus and hippie-sweat

the money it takes
to
rule
the
world

could be

use

to

feed
a
fetus
for
life
.
.
.
:
:
:
:
:
:

or we could just spend
it

on

clearing
all
the

wrinkles
on
rich
old
white
ladies
üüüüüüüüüüüüü

glorious clouds

the day never gloomed

with

such______________joy


then

when we
got

a
flat

tire

on

our

way

to

kill


some

tourist

in a

station*************wagon

drugged out poet

a

saint's

halo


could

never


be

put on

with

such

balance

as

when


ööööööööööööööööö


he loses

control

a day with muse

we ran into
a
#
of
snags
........
and
ate
great mounds of food

getting fat

as
poor
men

that walked with
radiant blurs

of

sunshine

humility's penis..****

______it
________goes
_______back
__________to
__________its
___________smallness


___________to
_________its
_____________belittled
_____________state.

it
goes
back
to
its
deflated
position


like
__A
Balloon


it once
was
a
sword
______A
_______seal
_______of
_______man
_______hood.

____________it
____________once
_____________was
_____________A
**************-torn
***************thorn
___________________off
_________A
__________rose
____________bush


sucked
_______out
________of
__________A
ICE
CREAM
CONE
WHERE THE MUSE

came
_Alive



_____life
_____is
_____ART


Sex
__is
__A
___dripping
____paint
____brush.



Drunk
We
Drive
the
bed
sheets
into
our
skin
AS
we go
_____wild

wide eye

________DOWN
________STUPORS
________STUPID
________SEXUAL
________POSITIONS;
________NUMB
________WE
________ORGANISM
________W/O
________WANTING
________children
________or
________long
________term
________commitment.

dead fish sushi swim

chop:::::STICKS

CHOKED ON THE


.......crazy horse


I knew this woman

was

a


hex

coming to take pictures of me
______________________________
______________________________
_______________________________
********************outside my natural habitat

jello shot

after jello shot

till


the flash

didn't seem


to mean


shining

imperfections
to the

world

but

beautiful
paintings

...

____________still

++++++++++++++++sad++++++++++++

in

natur--e


the clouds

cover
ed

the

:::::::::::::::
many

failed
attempts

and


noteworthy

catch phrases
that
seemed
to

be my

^^^^undoings^^^^
of a
man in his
great ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~old


prime whittling away

at


the
word-world


and
bouncing
up
side.e.

___________down


on the keys


where
the fingers
of

a
love


rrr

(the one
that couldn't be

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Tamed)



do
not

know
the dark

ugly
dog

that

fights

and
tears

the inside

armor

of


the

last


dying

man


good

to

the

world

in
doses
________________like fuckin


PAIN MEDICINE

remember to float by

with depth in

shallow waters

and

never

sink too deep

to
where

you'll lose

yr
::::::::::::paddle

amongst fallen
leaves


only

pick up

^^^^^^^^one^^^^^^^^^
rose


smell
it
decay


and

never put down the bottle
nor

pipe


till it completely

burns the gut down

and out
yr
ass

blood will shoot
________________
__________________OUT
and
it'll be

the final hour of rest from

this
sad
fallen
world
were
men
worship
the dead
to
feel
blood
pump




she had
penis
envy

no

one

plays

a

deeper

game of

chess

than

she

pay attention to pussy

the world has a rim


and if


yr

lucky


enough

to touch it


with swollen

fingers

by

all means

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^start touching

******************but as soon


as


you

drink from


her

nipple

remember the burn of

her
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::________
::::::::::::_________________
laugh

etch it

into

your

skin


tattoo

the words

on yr

back


and

always look over yr shoulders




dandruff

to my love, we all vanish

TO THINKÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ

_____________wedding rings

prove loyalty

__________when she

see's the tissues

left on the end table

she'll want a reason

for

all

the I

DOs


but she'll find them
fleeting when she comes home

to find you
wrapped up in front of a computer

screen glow

===================
===================
===================
===================
:::::::::::::intranced by letters


engolfed by the lonely

conversing

with the desperate



then she'll

wonder about


the loyal


dog


she



brought



home




and fed



and

bathe




and


changed



into


a


man


suited


in a


rag


and



consumed by


$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$




then


she'll storm into


the kitchen


and



cry




§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


at
th...AT

moment

the potential

for

a sweet sayin
g

.
.
.

.................to leave the lips



would #


echo

so


deep


her

knees


would buckle


and


elbows


would

weep

her

hands



into


her


tears


goodbye





we

made


great

lovers

out


of

lousy
lazy

friends


goodbye



°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
halosarehardtocomeby
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
butfoolsoftenwear
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
follylikefallenangel
feathers
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
foolishtofinishoff
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
stiffdrinkafterstiffdrink
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
when all we

had

was
jackandcoke
and crackersincabnets
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

5th cd

4th tape/cd

third tape

my second tape

my 1st tape

swore knees in

REDEMPTION



this tyme we're at the beach

watch wind surfers

losing control

of kites

hell is in the knees

woke up

__________holdin'

my gut

******************then we went to the flee

market on Ashby

in Berkeley

we found many people

playing with stolen goods

looking to buy the world



>>>>>>>..............>>>>>>>>>>>>>.......
:::::::pock et books ___________never a worn


word

one more hour of hell and we'll get to see heaven

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


THE IN BETWEEN TIME

IS WHERE YOU GATHER THOUGHTS
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((



^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ONLY PRINT YR IDEAS

ON FLASH CARDS


********************








$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$






















######################


IT'S ALL ABOUT THE


IN BETWEEN TIME




WHERE


YOU
G
E
T

TO
GATHER____________YR THOUGHTS

brent is dying of a broken heart

HERMITS
_______SIT
::::::::AND
********READ
(((())((()()()()()()BOOKS
ABOUT
:;.....>.*****00PEOPLE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~WHO
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^DIDN'T

++++++++++++++++SIT
AND
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@READ

BOOKS

(eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)CROSS



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>HEARTS

AND

PRAY

TO

DIE

IN

MID-LUCID
::::::::
::::::::
:::::::::::::::DREAM

lonely moon...

when we shine
_____________
shame...our faces
_________________
reflect our nature
__________________
and when we dim
_______________
our lights, the nude
____________________
truth of our erect
__________________
imperfections glow
__________________
like embers of
______________
smoldering smut.
________________

a long drop to the moon

THE LONGEST MOMENT
::::::::::::::BEFORE FAILURE


IS GROWING
UP...

TO FIND

YOU'RE
A

::::::::NOTHING

VOODOO DULL

W/

NEEDLE
NOSE

PLIERS
PRIED
MY
PENIS-MIND
OPEN
W/ ONE



POKE

bravery

Big________________________________you
egos_______________________________can't
lay_________________________________be
eggs__________________________inspired
like__________________________by
eagles______________________reading
land________on______________yrself.
engulfed
lakes_____________that
irrigated___________along
time_______ago
we_________died
like________symbols
of____________bravery
::::::::::::::.
::::::::::::::.
::::::::::::::.
__________________________________you
___________________________________can't
___________________________________be
___________________________________inspired
___________________________________by
___________________________________just reading
___________________________________yourself...

the sideshow of things

flea market on sunday
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


replacing church
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§w/ trinkets
and
1.00$

admission

we soak up
_________________________the last bit of heaven
as worn°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° out faces
sell



garages of junk
to my
girlfriend

looking up I shape a cloud
with indexing finger swirls


and realize
I'm poor

and unknown

and I'll die

like that

what a world-flea market

I sift through
creates of records
and find hidden gems here and


there
...the novelity
will wear
off

nude music will
play in
the gallows

once again

and the clowns
won't parade
on the

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((television)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

anymore

saddness is in the bedroom

six packs spilled
stains on the floor

___----–––+++++++++
+++++++------------
the work of women
on weekend they complain
of work and men and
the country they've been exiled
too....::::::::::::::"we've all been

exiled"

I say

they look me up and down

the bum he knows

the
s
t
r
u
g
g
l
e
it
strung his scrawny skeleton#
together


for 28
miserable


YEARS

ööööööööööööööööööööHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


now a hermit
shy of contact

for what would love do



but


break his little bones

and frail
his

face

Hail storm

sky can shit too

golf balls

not like I've ever had a
golf ball fly out of
nowhere

and remind me
t
O
********************************
get

to knees

and say :::::::::::::::::::::::A
lil'

::::::::::::::::::::::::diddy

my struggle-drug-poem

never going to give up

as a writer


never going to give up as
a
musician
numb
cold
seat hope
___________________::::::::::::::::::::
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!a firecracker!!!!!!!!!!!
öööööööööööööööööööööööööö

wakes

me up

oh my clicking on a mirror

the long–––-est
minute
a clock
can stand
still for
is...

the shortest...second
death gives


if you want to sound deep

piss in a bucket
filled
with cats

and
as they claw to reach the rim
shoot yr stream

across
the
brow of their forheads

after that
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::ShAkE
the
grandfather
clock till
bedtime

wishful%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%blue morning
escape till noontime and sleep
with a woman who cares for yr well #begin
over yr pocket
.
.
.
book

that‘s


ENLIGHTENMENT

sitting around doing everything from...

"...soon we won't need
human contact."

THE COMPUTER SCREENS

GLOW

tricked into this life
of self
reliance

on the e-mail

preachy verbs
past tense
tensions

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX...broke
`````````````````````````perplexed
____________________________shamed
*********************humiliated

hyper-case-sensitive

tear-drops
typing paper
manuscripts

Fame

is

not

around everyone's corner
opportunity
no longer knocks

sad clowns
minimum
wage
uniforms
and
pretentious
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::smiles
long live
:::::::::::::
:::::::::::::
:::::::::::::
:::::::::::::
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;..................................................
the corporate sellout---who got his chips
saved in the bank

no............................................................ dime
no________________________________ dollar

fat belly dancer out of work

when I was a child my mother hit me with a dog chain
_______________
I was out of line----------------
-------------
when I was a young---------________ boy

a neighborhood ::::::::::::::::::::::::kid
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;:;::::::::::_______---––––
-
--
-
-
--
-----------
showed me
33333333§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
pictures of nude women
^°°°°°°^°°°°°^°°°°^^^^^°°°
taking showers**************

we walked in on his parents having sex
>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<>>>>>>>><<<<<<<
i was no older than 5 or
6
.
.
.
taught pain
and sex:::::::::::::::as agony and defeat
ääääääääääääääääääääääöööööööööö
I'm now a man
waiting for
pain and depraved recessed
sexual?????ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß tensions

to write me a
$$$$$$$$$$$
masterpiece.


maybe if :::::::::::::::...I
hurt my longings
till the°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° dawn
i would be able

to breathe
with ease

and
grace


like the smiling children
of
∆∆∆∆∆ººººº@@@@@@@@ hollywood

grey skies wet blanket

married 10000000000000000000000000000000
the destruction
of wild beast-----domesticated
clean shaven men
refuse to #drip saliva on the
backs of women #######they
no nothing

???ßßßßofßßß????ßßßßß...............desire
hidden in bushels of bamboo
sticks smoking good ganja and drinking rum
the down trotten
and poor
know plight
everyone else just comments on structure

they know nothing of
...soberity stupors
and binge dehydration

lll=========
l§§§§§
lÄÄÄÄÄ
löööööö
llllllllllllll

better get home before the clouds fall like

Rain




it's raining outside

she's upstairs
I'm starving


FAME is to seek riches

GREATNESS is to seek
hardships, pain, failure-fire and
become refined
in
to


a big ball of fury


she's upstairs
down here


fame or greatness

matters not
its about .................food.............and

sustaining the intake of breath...........

inhale

double whoppers
w/ chesse

gulp sodas

a brup.......fastfoodofdeathclutch

&&&&&&&&&&&&it matters not&&&&&&&&&&&&&it is invain((((((((to)))))))))))))))))
want anything

less

than greatness



the reign
will
eventually

stop

and the cats
and
dogs

that suffered so

will be$$$$$$$$$$$$able

to cripple stray back under a freeway overpass

and lay under the dark cloak
of shelter

old bum new shoes are far

nickel-pocket--------wine-belly
rained in mornings-windshield-wipe
skined dead dogs hang on fence
next to tarp

)))))))))))moonlight is glowing again

)))))))))))daydreamers under tree

hangs hands over head

d
espair
dangles

damn

poet

felloff
high horse

penis shriveled

she laughed at me

and I took it


my pride

is lost...

ART is FAST FOOD

____________________________LONGER
______________________________LOVE
___________________________LINGERS
______________________________LUST
_____________________________LICKS
______________________________LEGS
______________________________LIKE
_____________________________LIMES
_________________________________&
____________________________LEMONS
____________________________BITTER
_______________________________BUT
____________________________BUTTER
____________________________BEHIND
__________________________BISCUITS
_____________________________MAKES
____________________________MESSES
___________________________MASSIVE
_____________________________MONEY
___________________________MUNDANE



...IT WAS A MONDAY

writersworkshop

HE THINKS

HE'S... "HOT SHIT"



"H
E

IS



__________________HOT SHIT"
.
.
.
Writers
workshop...

dustybeattapes and microphones

running through all my collected memories;I keep finding these beat tapes
my old homie Aoneder use to make for me
and it brings this smile to my face when I get to thinking of
the beat tapes my homies get from me


I'm still making these tapes

its like a child
when I discovered my dad's old stereo and
used my headphones for a microphone

I'd do these little skits
of radio shows

and I thought to myself

where are you going with this????


years later
(progression)

I'm still making these little tapes
of

beats and raps
and sending them to people

who like that kinda of stuff


its the most fulfilling thing in the

world


static................


(((radio shows....with yr host)))

I'm here

now with deep old scratched

voice.....................

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%CRACKED, HUMBLED, DEFEATED.....i MADE BEAT tapes
FOR THE deead...SOUlS of TTruckers....Highway music....""

A Masquerade Walls: The Wires Are Crossed

A Masquerade Walls: The Wires Are Crossed
CA does an amazing job of
painting this poem
on
the back

of

mind..........read it
)))))))))))))))read it
or............read anyone of his pieces

dead souls send out for coffee and cake

they sat talking of

good teas

dainty hats w/ flowers

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^
^^^^^
^^^^^^^^
6^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxLAST GRIN WAS OVER PASSOVER
WHEN JERRY DIED
"oh yes, so ,,,,so sad-d-d-g,gooo,d boy
Rachel's son?....""""


"no the blond girl,,mun,,,,oh, thank you....what a gentlemen charmer...Mandy


"oh that's right Mandy, he was a baby face
sweet child.....:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::""

life isn't the world

telling stories and eating mushroom
cakes by starlight


wish me the run around

jogging miles
to
find
one
old cafe to waltz
right into
these

two

old

women

talking

of

time



I WAS RUNNING
LATE

threw rocks at
windows walking home from church and
said prayers to the sky
hoping

that people would be

healed

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&(still a dreamer)

if we took money away
we'd still have a borrow system

where paper money would be junk and the only

king of the hill

would be the men who'd plan the rest of

life:::::::::::::::::::::::::TO BE
DREAMS...SWEET

VISIONS
of
the keyboard word finger tips
eyes giving out
tri-focal
glasses on rim of nose
and squinting
to the blog of
women with hand
bags to trade
for shoes

worn by dead parents
and this world

loves the sale

loves the item

when one sits sending
letters to
mother for cash
they dream of freedom from dollar bills
and find one moment of solace######################## in
a thousand w*o*r*d*s


read between the lines and fine print

we starve for
Items
and the belly aches for the
let down

lets all

sit


do
wn

and

talk this one through....

wonder......................if the owner's got


a dog......GLOVES FEELING TIGHT

sweaty::::::::::::::::::::: wonder
************************if its a pitbull
ANY K-9 COULD KILL

ME
###########################i just gotta

hop this fence

and pray there isn't a ankle biter to fasten his
teeth into my balls


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
owwwwwwwooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww>>>>>>>>>>>

"CHOMP!!!!"

a note to my old friends

we use to

carry backpacks with notepads and pens and markers and black books
we were young and we didn't understand the talent we possessed but as I
look back and reflect...I really think the time is now, we're older,
our backs have carried burdens
we've had our fights
and failures to count...now my brothers
I call you to once again work to achieve that which you've
blessed me with yr nights late in the studio smoking and drinking and
writing

long drawn out poems

that give grins
on nights like this

shit we're really good at rapping

I mean really FUCKIN good

we stuttered on session tape we've giggled to farts
we're the last of stinking poem bums............:::::::::::::::::
""""""""""""""""""""::::::::::::::::::LLLLLLLLLLLLLLL... dead beats

fear the pen fear the writer that doesn't fear
to :::::::::::::::::::::put his chips on selling out

never folds

and is

always empty handed


for this man will raise to power

and destroy **********************the art
that has destroyed %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%the flame

market is flooded with fairies
writing uplifting GOD poems
and angels
with saintly halos

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^IIIIIIMMMMMM
NN.NOT.OOO...T.T.T.T.T.T.T.

SCARED TO VENTURE into
the unknown ((paper)) w/o~~~~~~~~~ my trusty ##########2pen
that has held my hand for so long
that it forms my songs

with only heart and god

tapes and scattered paper lay on the floor

old:::::::::::::::::::fashioned


"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""men


of typerwriters and pipes

are dead...just dead nothing heroic or sad


now some new breed}}}}}}}}}}}}}of beast/man

has come along


and wiped his ass on anything that was

good and had depth

and the masses


################^#^**(^*^&%$^%#^%#$^$#%@#%$^&SEE

only shit

they eat and love this

shit


b/c


its fed

to them
what other choice do they have
but to believe the great writers of our day

are liars with sp3ll check

and dancers of deed dirt and poor langauage

this is the

revolution


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ART
is


alive
in back rooms and chat rooms

but the street is still crowded
with the poor

and the hotels are

used to degrade

the arms of many fallen great men

and we sit taking it in

like the seabreeze
we're forced to believe

that a many stars
it

took to get to the moon
was


worth climbing for minutes
and endles-s--s-s-s-::::::::::::::::::::::::::i'M RAMBLING

AGAIN ABOUT AGING
AND AGONY AROUND ASPHALT
AND ATMOSPHERE

CLOUDS CLEAR CONFUSION
......(oh those last lines are a hint of bad writing)))))))))))))))))))))))
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$say one message in three

w
o
r
d
s


CASH COWS COWOR

girl got headphones on her shoulder

the simple fact________________life is
captured by the eye so quickly that we can see a glimpse into the
mere minimalistic habits that fuel our existence


____________we lust w/ our eyes

_______________over eat
and spoil our after dinner sex
000000000000000)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))000000000000000000
_______________we think that if we dress up
like the coolest guy on the block we'll win the girl
________________look out lion

__________________look out tiger



man has you beat

with his common brain
his simple grin


his shopping carts

his war against his brother

***************************all stripe


and**********************************and STARS

::::::::::::::::::the finger gripped
******************the rusty fence))))))))))))))))))))))))
$$$$$shaking back and forth
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^UNTIL THE OLD MAN
WITH A CANE POKED MY BACK

CHILD____________________STOP
THAT NON-cents

_________________ITS PRIVATE PROPERITY

it didn't stop me


________I was a LITTLE devil

horn slightly protruding
and my lil' tail wagging...

the looks are there, but his brain is gone

couldn't see pass his own misfortune

the clown would walk on ahead

while the

humble

sit back and let
the fools

trip

over

there

own

words
.
.
.

the letter

dear mother,


I'm broke

_____________I've been spending my money on food,
gas***********rent and bills...they stop giving me

loans

I need a couple thousand to keep alive

############I'm still a babyboydreamer#######
^^^^^^^^^^^^bunched together between^^^^^^
a bunch of past due notices and legal fees
and people calling me and huanting me for what little money I do get

they seem to want so

like them

&&&&&&&&I TOO MUST ASK FOR

&&&&&&&&MORE MONEY&&&&&


love yr son

who never quite made it as an

artist....ps I hope dad is still letting you handle the money
b/c yr heart over rules the wallet


death of poetry
death of music
death of true art

everyone's going to die

and they seem to be

so concerned

with this lost of greatness

like we had a choice


the dimly lit lights in the crows
nest seem to stay lit long enough for me to create another

letter

this


one


won't be so


pleasant

modern day mozarts' still die by candlelight and computer screens

cough::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::sneeze...itchy eyes

but the keyboard still clicks and clacks to the chatter of my mouth
that

whic?????????????????h never really gets



______________-----------------OUT.
.
.
__________________________________of the head

unitl




the paper looks too blank not to get bloodly

we fight

call her names


))))))))))))))))then sweet love


out comes a word baby+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
________________________________SAINT JOSIAH

____________________________drink a lot of wine
...it keeps the belly still___________________
believing my muse isn't cheating by
skipping ahead.....................=====:::::::
_____________you get the idea that=====I'M PL
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::AYing
tricks with the pen
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@the bar line tidders on the metronome meter....

the poem is really in the rap, baby...

floppy disc

uni-ball pens

30 notebooks filled with rap lyrics

working

___________on my opus

((((((((((((discovered, that people just don't
write like

they use to))))))))))))))))))))>>>>>>>>they ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,think::::::::::::
everything should be


be


a_____________sample
a_____________taste
A LOOK into their
medicore existence

SCHOOL BUS (re) TIRE

use to sell porn and knives on the
bus

_____________________Jr high..._______________
it was a way to get cigarettes and weed and

of course...more porn.

she feeds me

my love

feeds
me

like a
a
mammal...
chomping on salads
and
vegitable pizzas

my love

feeds

me

the minute you give up on the dream is when they kill you

I found a new muse and she has my left eyeball in her purse

I went into my regular routine

I make a lot of art


then flip out saying I can't make anything good

and that its hopeless to go on
then I make shit loads more

art



then
sleep with a couple ladies

then retreat
to my lonesome

state

and


think about all the longings
of man


and ask myself repeatedly is it worth it


to starve on the streets to be immortalized in poem?

LOOK GIRL
YOU CAN'T SHOW YR SMILE
YOU MUST REMAIN W/O EMOTION
YOU SEE MY FACE?
...THIS IS THE FACE OF
A HEARTLESS PHOTOGETIC
SAD EYED STARRY DREAMER-BOY

NOW ON THE COUNT OF THREE STOP
SMILING..

I'm on my way...to the place where
legends are immortalized...and
all I can think about is

the bass is too loud

my day...

MY DAY
started at 8:15am
when I awoke to my snooze button...then I rushed into the studio
for a 8 hr tracking session I have one more
day of this maddness
and I can't seem
to shake the

chills
toast cheers
down a cold one
for me...

fell

THIS IS
WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN WORDS
FALL DOWN
STAIRS

YOU’RE LEFT CLEANING UP
THE MESSY AFTER
TRAIL OF
LINES AND
LINE
AND
LINES

OF

THE SAME BOLD LETTERING
THAT GOT
YOU
CLIMBING
THOSE STAIRS

does panning really work?

in the kitchen last night

______________holding a__beer___m
_________________________________u
__________________________________g

"not much lefftttT...annnd I---------want another
""""""""

you
start to wonder

if I'm
even trying

to

try

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>to<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WRITE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
well...I

'
m

deaf

in

one ear and
my arm was
shot with

hope

and all
I got was this mug

so


raise it to the sky
and pass out

on the pub floor

good night

the mission of prayer

to speak to the devil you either
have to be god
or
maybe a fool
the first guy (god) could proably outwit him,
the second would rather
rule the

free world
...

========
========
++++++++if anyone ever came up to
me and asked for a handout I'd proably give it to them but then again
I'm not sure if angels are inner host in homeless
clothes

so I usually shake my head
and shame my head down
and shave ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^my
___________________heart
______________ bare.